When the news about now “not so Silent Bob” getting kicked off a Southwest flight for being too large to fit in a single seat, I found myself intrigued and read many opinions thoughts and articles about the fiasco. Ironically, I found myself in the opposite situation the next day on a flight to San Diego. Assuming that the plane doesn’t crash at some point during the flight, there is little worse than eyeing the seat numbers as you walk down the aisle of an airplane, and realizing that your seat is next to the giant person taking up their own seat and part of yours.
Large people must hate having to sit next to me because as soon as I see where my seat is I think to myself “Son of a Bitch!” and I’m 98% sure it is perfectly reflected on my face. I consider myself a medium sized person (short plus not stick thin equals medium) and I am uncomfortable in an airplane seat, so I can’t imagine being tall or overweight and having to fit into an airplane seat. I realize that large people are incredibly uncomfortable physically, and are likely fully aware that everyone getting on that plane is hoping that their seat is somewhere else. I felt bad for the large man sitting in the middle seat because he was clearly aware that half of his body was in my seat and half of me was in the aisle.
Most airlines have a rule that as long as you can get the arm rests down and buckle the seat belt without an extender; you technically fit into one seat. That is a load of crap because a person with broad shoulders doesn’t even fit into a seat correctly. We’ve all heard of a muffin top, right? When the fat rolls spill out over a pair of pants? The same thing happens over an arm rest people, except it goes both directions. The arm rest is like someone squeezed a tube of toothpaste from the middle.
To be fair, I have an exceptionally large personal space bubble, so I don’t like the fact that I have to sit next to anyone on a plane. But I really don’t care for other people taking up half my seat as well as theirs. I am incredibly uncomfortable touching strangers to begin with, I am even more uncomfortable having to touch legs or arms or shoulders with them in a confined space. I paid for a whole seat and I would like to use it. If you’re a hot single guy, we can negotiate arm rest usage.
As I was boarding my return flight to come back to Ptown, I realized that I had managed to seriously piss off the airplane gods. 19E. A middle seat, because that was all that was left when I bought the ticket. In 19D and F . . . . two people who were triple my size. As it turned out, they were husband and wife, who bought tickets with a seat in between them. I’m sure they were perfectly nice and also uncomfortable, but my body was physically sore the next day from being cramped into a tiny space while trying not to touch anyone else. Anyone larger than me would never have even fit in there.
While this is going to make me appear to be a very insensitive person, I’m taking the opposite side of Silent Bob. I understand where he is coming from and if the people on either side of him were okay with his being there, he should have been allowed to stay on the flight. But as a person who fits into the seat, I paid for my whole seat and I want to use all of it.
I have a long flight coming up in about six weeks. After the last experience, I’m a little nervous about the seating arrangements since my karma seems to need some redeeming. How does one get back on the good side of the airplane seating gods?
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