The Compliment

I am a big fan of giving compliments. I mostly due it when it is actually warranted, such as when a friend gets a cute new hair cut or have some shoes I covet. I’m also not opposed to giving the unwarranted compliment when it’s expected and proper to do so. “Oh, you look so beautiful in your wedding dress.” “Your baby is so cute!” I also use the compliment as positive affirmation. If I’m ever in some type of relationship with guys, friends, pseudo romantic or otherwise, I try very hard to never criticize. Instead, when they dress well for a change, they get the gushing compliment about how much I like their outfit. Or how great their hair looks when it’s combed. Or how delicious the frozen pizza tastes (because hey, at least they made the attempt).

I am very clear in my compliments. I like your sweater. That haircut looks great on you. Those shoes are fantastic. You get the idea. Upon occasion, I also receive compliments. And I’ve noticed a trend. The compliments I get from girls are crystal clear and make perfect sense. The ones I get from guys . . . not so much.

For example, a guy friend of mine just walked past my cube. “Your shirt is bright today.” Ummm . . . I don’t know what to do with that. Are you just being observant? Is that a good thing? I’m so confused. After further clarification, I discovered that he did indeed like the color of my shirt.

I don’t understand where the difference in compliment giving comes from. Presumably, many people grow up with a male and female adult figure in their life as well as the possibility of siblings of the opposite sex. We’re exposed to people of the opposite sex every day. We all put on pants one leg at a time. How is it that we do something equally as simple, giving compliments, in such different ways?

The only direct comment I ever get from guys is “you look tired.” To which I always respond, “thank you.” Here is a tip boys . . . if you think I look tired, I KNOW I look tired and am trying to cover it up and hoping desperately that no one else notices the dark circles under my eyes. But I appreciate you taking the time to point it out. I say all this with a hint of sarcasm, as I know the guys aren’t trying to be mean, they’re just commenting. In their own special way, they’re showing that they’re concerned about why I look so terrible.

Alas, compliments are just one more thing I don’t understand about the boy brain. While I’m never quite sure what to do with comments such as “your hair is darker” and “your earrings are long,” I do appreciate the attempt. Despite the confused look you see on my face when you tell me something like that, please keep your “observations” coming.