S'more of What?

I’m just going to come out and say it. I don’t like s’mores. I know, the horror. How can a person not like s’mores? I’ve never actually admitted this until I read a recent article about someone else who didn’t like s’mores. Upon discovering that I wasn’t alone in this un-American dislike, I decided to come out of the s’more closet.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of a s’more, I just don’t like the taste. And I’m usually the first person to make sure we have the ingredients on a camping trip. I enjoy watching other people go through the process and enjoying their supposed deliciousness, I just don’t enjoy it myself. While s’mores are a camping treat for most, my camping treat was Oreo’s and orange soda. Two things I never got as a child unless we were camping.

So what’s with the hate on s’mores? For one, I don’t like marshmallows which are the main ingredient. I don’t even like roasting them because they always light on fire. Seriously, we set kids up for utter failure and disappointment by telling them to roast something that is highly flammable. Generation after generation has to play the same trick on the up and coming generation. You don’t learn how to properly roast a mallow until you’re a teenager and then who has the patience?

For two, I don’t care for graham crackers. Sure, I like the crumbs mixed into a delicious batch of Nanaimo Bars, but a graham cracker as a stand alone? No thanks. It’s kind of like eating honey flavored cardboard. I’ll admit to sometimes eating them just to soak up the liquid contents of my stomach while camping. We’re no longer talking orange soda, here.

Thirdly, I don’t particularly care for Hershey milk chocolate. Never have. It’s a poor man’s chocolate. Average at best. Now, if you sandwich a caramello in that s’more, we still won’t be in business, but we’ll be much closer than we were with the Hershey bar.

Finally, I don’t like my food to touch. And I don’t like to have my hands dirty. Have you ever eaten a s’more and come away with clean hands? Nope. And the chocolate is always cold. They say the mallow will melt it, but it never does.

I never really cared for s’mores even as a kid. As an adult, I eat one probably every five years or so just to confirm that they still aren’t good. I really do enjoy watching my little cousins try to create and then eat them though. Perhaps that is why they live on, the joy we get from passing on such an odd tradition makes it worth having to eat one every once in a while.

And while I don’t like the taste of s’mores, they did help create one of the best lines in movie history . . .
“S’more of what? How can I have some more of something if I haven’t had anything yet?”
“You’re killing me Smalls!”