You know that point of a relationship when you know in your gut it’s not working anymore? It used to be so easy and fun and you just want to get back to good. That point where you know it’s not going to get better, but you still fight it, still try to make it work. You need to pull the plug, but knowing that is what’s best and doing it are two different things? That was how I spent much of 2011. Then in September of 2011, I finally pulled the plug, and broke-up with running.
I used to love to run. It was easy and fun and took very little effort. And somewhere along the road, that all changed. Running became work. I resented the miles I was putting in. And just like anything, person or sport, nobody likes to resent something or someone they once loved. So I took a break. I wasn’t sure how long the break would last, but I needed a serious break. I’ve been running pretty consistently since college. I wasn’t running ultras or even marathons, but I logged miles every single week. With such a dramatic change in my life, I thought I’d feel a little lost. Instead all I felt was relief.
I spent about five months doing anything but running. I didn’t even have a pair of running shoes. Instead I went for walks, lifted weights and did a little of nothing. For once in my life I wasn’t worried about logging miles or working out every single day. My body and my psyche started to heal and running was no longer an enemy.
And just like when you end a relationship with a person, eventually you’re ready to try again. My legs started to get twitchy, like they were ready for more than just a walk. I finally felt ready to give running a try again. I started just running a little bit, a couple miles. And it didn’t suck. And then I found myself putting on my running shoes on a Saturday afternoon for the first time in a long time. I updated my running ipod and set off into the sunshine. Sunshine in February, how could I resist? Perhaps most important was what I didn’t take. I left my Garmin at home. All I wanted to do was enjoy a run. It didn’t matter how far I went or how fast (or slow) my pace was. It didn’t matter that I walked up a hill that I usually run up. All that mattered was that I was running. And it was fun again.
Once again I felt relief. Relief that maybe my relationship with running wasn’t over after all. Maybe, like Ross and Rachel, all we needed was a break. In effort to preserve the enjoyment of running, I have a new goal. Not to run a marathon or a sub-7 mile. No, this goal is a little more simple and enjoyable. To leave the Garmin at home a little more often and just run for the sheer joy of it.
I used to love to run. It was easy and fun and took very little effort. And somewhere along the road, that all changed. Running became work. I resented the miles I was putting in. And just like anything, person or sport, nobody likes to resent something or someone they once loved. So I took a break. I wasn’t sure how long the break would last, but I needed a serious break. I’ve been running pretty consistently since college. I wasn’t running ultras or even marathons, but I logged miles every single week. With such a dramatic change in my life, I thought I’d feel a little lost. Instead all I felt was relief.
I spent about five months doing anything but running. I didn’t even have a pair of running shoes. Instead I went for walks, lifted weights and did a little of nothing. For once in my life I wasn’t worried about logging miles or working out every single day. My body and my psyche started to heal and running was no longer an enemy.
And just like when you end a relationship with a person, eventually you’re ready to try again. My legs started to get twitchy, like they were ready for more than just a walk. I finally felt ready to give running a try again. I started just running a little bit, a couple miles. And it didn’t suck. And then I found myself putting on my running shoes on a Saturday afternoon for the first time in a long time. I updated my running ipod and set off into the sunshine. Sunshine in February, how could I resist? Perhaps most important was what I didn’t take. I left my Garmin at home. All I wanted to do was enjoy a run. It didn’t matter how far I went or how fast (or slow) my pace was. It didn’t matter that I walked up a hill that I usually run up. All that mattered was that I was running. And it was fun again.
Once again I felt relief. Relief that maybe my relationship with running wasn’t over after all. Maybe, like Ross and Rachel, all we needed was a break. In effort to preserve the enjoyment of running, I have a new goal. Not to run a marathon or a sub-7 mile. No, this goal is a little more simple and enjoyable. To leave the Garmin at home a little more often and just run for the sheer joy of it.
1 comment:
I imagine your joints are thanking you! Glad you're running to de-stress rather than letting your running cause you stress!
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