In the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” Billy Crystal’s character does a whole spiel on how men and women can’t be just friends. His reasoning is because no matter what, the guy always wants to sleep with the woman. Not being a guy, I have no idea if this is true or not, but it made me start to think about the so called “friendships” I have with guys.
I hang out with a lot of guys, 99% of which I wouldn’t even think about dating. Some are married some are in serious relationships and a few who are single. Of those who are unattached, it has never crossed my mind to date or to sleep with them. Is it completely naive to think that I can always remain just friends with these guys?
Sometimes it is nice to not be the only single person in the group. While I enjoy being the spare, sometimes it gets old and it’s nice to have someone to partner up with for a few hours strictly on a friend level. It’s nice to have someone to partner up with on game night. It’s also handy to have someone around you’re comfortable with to the point that you can share food and ask each other for favors. No, not those kinds of favors. I’m talking about having someone you can call when you need help carrying something, or you need someone to go to a movie with, or when they can call you to borrow something.
My whole life I’ve hung out with guys and the ones who were really good friends I’ve only ever thought of as friends. But old Billy Crystal got me thinking. Do guys ever really think of girls as just their friends? Or is sex always involved? I had a friend who was hanging out with a guy she thought of strictly as a friend, only to have him unexpectedly lean over and start kissing her. What do you do in a situation like that? Can you ever go back to just being friends? Or were you ever really just friends in the first place?
After polling some friends, I’ve gotten various responses. My dear brother says of course you can just be friends with girls. And he’s the type of guy that could actually think that. What I wonder, with him being quite the charmer, is if the girls he is just “friends” with feel the same? I have a girl friend that told me I was off my rocker for thinking that guys and girls can just be friends. Once one person has feelings, I agree that friendship in the normal sense is not an option. If it was a childhood crush, you stand a better chance of overcoming that. Girls tend to want to have romantic feelings towards a guy, while to Billy Crystal’s point, guys are much less particular about that part.
I’d like to think that guys and girls really can be just friends. Is this just wishful thinking on my part? Can guys and girls really ever just be friends? Not being a guy or having a chance in hell in understanding how they think, don’t have a clue. But as someone who enjoys hanging out with guys simply as friends, I certainly hope so.
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