Deal Breakers

Most people have an idea of qualities they would like to find in a potential spouse. Everyone I know have a list of things they absolutely do not want in a spouse. These are frequently known as deal breakers. If a deal breaker is really a deal breaker, why do we let people second guess us about them? Should we be concerned when people judge us for our deal breakers? Even if they are specific issues that are important to you and not to the rest of the people we know, why are we so concerned with what they think about them?

And if a potential date possess at least one deal breaker, aren’t they likely to possess more? My biggest deal breaker is no smoking. I have no desire to be around much less date a smoker. Recently a friend of mine wanted to hook me up with a guy she knew. When pressed, she admitted that this guy smoked. While I was ready to throw in the towel right then, friends convinced me to pass along my number regardless. The boys aren’t exactly beating down my door so at the very least this could be good practice in small talk. So against my gut instinct and my major deal breaker, I passed along my number.

Talking to the guy on the phone ended up going fine. Nice enough guy, but as I suspected, smoking wasn’t the only deal breaker this guy had. Turns out, the guy has two criminal convictions in the form of DUI’s. Most people would tell you that I am a total hard ass and want life to be black and white and while I’m learning that there are shades of gray in the world, drinking and driving is not one of them. And getting caught not once but twice is inexcusable.

Prior to this experience I didn’t realize that I had to put multiple DUI’s and criminal convictions on the list. But it is on there now, along with no smoking, a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, and no crazy religions. My friends may judge me or my personal deal breakers but at the end of the day I’m the one that has to live with my choices. At the end of the day I know they love me and want to see me happy, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree to date people I know are wrong. So hassle me all you like dear friends for being a real life version of Goldilocks who wants everything to be just right, just know that I am sticking to my deal breakers from here on out.