Everything You Can Do . . . I Can Do Too!

If I had to pick a show tune that best described me, it would undoubtedly be Annie Get Your Gun’s “Everything you can do I can do better, everything you can do I can do to.” There are some things I realize I can’t do better that the guys, for example I’m quite aware of my genetic disadvantages for dunking a basketball, but for the most part I’ve done my best to keep up with the guys. I can do anything they can do too.

In my quest to keep up with the guys I’ve done some ridiculous things over the years. I’ve jumped off of cliffs that I shouldn’t have and skied down mountains way out of my comfort zone. On the plus side, I made myself learn to do things like drive a ski boat, paddle a boat correctly, and I camp like a champ.

Living by myself has also helped to fuel my independent, I don’t need any help, if a guy can do it I can do it too attitude. I own a cordless drill and a level and can hang anything. I can change a tire. I am strong enough to move most of my furniture by myself. I even hooked up my own sound system between my TV and stereo.

While I’ve become increasingly independent and capable, I’ve forgotten how nice it is occasionally to have guys help you out. This recently came to light in two different ways. The first being that I just read Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady, Think Like Man.” I find the differences in men and women fascinating, plus a single girl needs all the help she can get! One of the things that Harvey mentions is that guys know girls can do things for themselves, however guys still like to feel needed and to take care of things that are considered manly. It makes them feel useful and needed. In my aspirations to be an island whenever possible and taking care of everything myself, I forget that asking for or accepting help occasionally doesn’t mean that I’m putting anyone out.

The second thing that happened was I had a small accident while attempting to climb up a natural rock water slide. I of course tried it first myself with no help. To get to the top you had to use a rope and climb up the left side of the falls on slick wet rock wall. I almost made it up when I lost my footing and found myself dangling from a rope by one hand getting pummeled by a waterfall. Apparently other people were concerned, but my thought at the time was simply “well this did not go according to plan, but hey, all that lifting is coming in handy since I can hold myself up with one arm!” I managed to get myself turned around enough to go down the slide with some semblance of control and what I hope was some impression of dignity. And a lot of new bruises.

Since attempt number one was a bit of a bust, I planned on trying again. As I was swimming back to the rope, two of the guys in my group caught up with me. These two weren’t even my best guy friends who were also on the trip, just a brother and cousin of one of my guys. None the less, they automatically jumped up to help, one holding the rope at the bottom and one climbing up ahead of me to help me make the switch from the rope to the slide. This time around everything went smoother and I made it down the slide like one is supposed to.

Could I have gotten up the rock wall and down the slide myself? Yes, eventually. But as I reached out for the hand at the top helping me to get situated to go down the slide and let go of the rope, I decided that having help every now and then wasn’t a bad thing. Despite how much we bag on them, guys are innately good. And help coming from unexpected places or guys has a way of making a girl feel good.

Another perfect example of guys wanting/needing to help is this past winter I was supposed to drive across town to a party when Portland was hit with a huge winter snow storm. Three of my guy friends called to see if they could pick me up so I didn’t have to drive. Ironically, I am the one with the most snow driving experience. None the less, I let one of the guys chauffeur me around town on a snowy night.

In my never ending quest for self improvement, my newest goal is to realize that asking for or accepting help doesn’t make me weak. I can do everything guys can do (with the obvious exception of peeing standing up), but that doesn’t mean that occasionally I can’t take advantage of their bigger muscles and their desire to help a girl out occasionally. The good ones were raised and trained to do this; I may as well let them make their mamas proud.