Upon hearing squeals of toddler delight, I looked up from my book to see what was going on. Expecting to see Mia (our groups token child thus far) and her Mama playing, I realized that all the girls were doing their own thing, while all the guys were playing with Mia, doing their best to entertain her. It was interesting to see, especially since I have no recollection of that kind of scenario in my own childhood. It may have happened and maybe I just don’t remember it, but I think the roles of dads have changed significantly with my generation.
Case in point, I ran into one of my co-workers husbands in the hall at work not too long ago, his arms full with both their girls. Turns out they were both sick and he had just taken them to the doctor. I honestly do not remember my dad taking me to the doctor once. I remember him taking me to see the Rainbow Bright movie in a theatre when I was about 5 (major kudos for that – despite the fact that he brought a book with him), but never the doctor. Granted, it was easier for my mom to get off work, but it never entered my mind to call my dad if I was sick. To this day I still call my mom to complain that I don’t feel good.
Every time I walk down the hall at work, I find myself walking past offices of obviously proud dads. Every guy here, under the age of 40, proudly displays pictures of his kids all over his office. More often than not, screen savers, computer backgrounds and custom calendars are also pictures of their kids. Neither of my parents were big picture people, I’m pretty sure my mom still has my 5th grade picture on her desk, and possibly one from 9th grade. In our house growing up, they proudly displayed (and still do) my kindergarten picture on top of the piano. The most recent addition is my senior picture, which actually made it on the wall, but there aren’t many pictures on display in between. I realize that pictures aren’t a big deal to my parents, but I happen to love them. And I love walking past the guys’ offices with pictures of their kids. It gives you a nice warm feeling inside to realize that these guys love their kids so much. So for father’s day this year, I gave my dad a picture of my brother and me for his desk at work. I’m doubtful it ever makes it to his office, but I thought it was worth a shot. And hey, easy cheesy fathers day gift!
One of my favorite stories about my new dad friends had to do with swimming lessons. His daughter is Mia, and she’s about 19 months old, so really not old enough to swim, but they signed her up for “mommy and me” swim lessons. That title may now be un-PC but when I was teaching swim lessons, that’s what it was. Anyway, mommy didn’t want to go swimming so daddy takes her. I’m not sure that there is much out there a whole lot cuter than a dad taking his daughter to swim lessons. With maybe the exception of a handful of movie stars. And newborn puppies.
Along with swim lessons, I hear a number of the dads in my office talking about heading to their kids’ (insert appropriate sport here) games/meets/etc. I was born with a love of sports and while I was never great at them, I loved to play. Which had to suck for my parents because when you grow up in the middle of nowhere MT, an away game doesn’t mean across town – it means across the state. It all started with t-ball at age 5. This quickly turned into softball, which was at least within the county and then swim team in the summers, which was across all of Western Montana. I don’t remember my dad missing a single swim meet, which is really very cool. Lucky for my parents, in junior high and high school, the athletes travel on a bus to away games. I spent a lot of time on a bus . . . and my parents, my mom especially, spent a lot of time in the car an on bleachers following me.
By the time high school rolled around, I was playing three sports a year. It’s still amazing to me how parents will follow their kid around from gym to gym to watch them play sports when it’s a real possibility that the kid and or the team aren’t even good. For me, that sport was basketball. I was okay, a very long way from great, but had a 99% free throw average so managed to pick up some playing time. I remember my mom coming to almost all the games, although she never made the 4 hour trip to Eureka, and her making my dad come to one home game a season. So you can imagine my surprise when volleyball season rolled around and my dad willingly came to games. And I don’t just mean home games, but actually hopped in the car and followed my team around the state. I remember coming home from a game and having my dad quiz me on what all the signals the ref used meant. It was never a doubt in my mind that my mom would be at games and follow me around yelling for the team, but my first season playing varsity volleyball, it came as a shock every time I heard “Let’s go Hawks!” in my dads voice. My dad doesn’t put a lot of effort into doing anything he doesn’t want to do, so it was a very special surprise when he willingly and actively became interested in something I loved to do.
Flash forward 28 years after I left my post on the moon picking grapes, and I have a pretty solid relationship with my dad. (My mom too, she’s my rock, but this blog is about dads.) I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather do target practice with or tool around on a boat for an afternoon than with my dad. What I am most encouraged by in seeing the dads of my generation is the possibility that a stronger relationship will take hold sooner between father and child. I love the world where I commonly see guys hiking with their kids strapped to them, or the dads taking t heir kids to get their feet wet in the fountain on a hot day. Or even dads who brave the grocery store with a young one just to give mom a break. So while evolution has brought us things like global warming, nuclear weapons and Britney Spears, its encouraging seeing evolution moving us in some positive directions too.
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