Ode to the Gym

I’ve been in and out of women’s locker rooms since probably the fifth grade. That adds up to approximately 18 years of seeing half or totally naked girls/women. As I’ve transferred from the high school locker room to a locker room at a public gym I’ve noticed some things.

First of all lets be honest . . . . we all look. Whether we mean to or not, sometimes you see something surprising like nipple rings out of the corner of your eye and you do a double take. Sometimes you see someone with super ripped abs or a really nice body. I’ll be honest and admit that I’ve checked out a girls butt before because it was amazing. And more often than any of us would like you see someone who is either really old or really chubby. And it is these people who walk around butt as naked.

So with a birthday approaching in a few short hours, I have some vows for the gym I’d like to make as I age.
•I will always wear shower shoes.
•I will groom all parts of my body
•I will never wear underwear that comes up to my armpits
•I will always wear cute underwear. Or at least not grandma underwear.
•If my boobs hang down to my knees, I will wear a sports bra
•I will not have a conversation with a complete stranger while they are fully clothed and I am not.
•And when I am old and wrinkly and still going to the gym, I will strut around butt ass naked without a care in the locker room.