Am I Old?

This morning at work someone complimented me on my shirt and asked where I got it. I couldn’t remember since I’ve had this shirt for probably a couple years. Then I started to really think about it and remembered the origin of the shirt. I bought it for a trip to NYC during Jan term of my senior year in college. In 2003. I am still wearing a shirt SEVEN years after I bought it. I like to think that implies that I have taste in classic clothing that you can wear forever. One thing I know it does – it makes me feel older than I normally feel that I am.

On any given day, I probably feel like I am still 25. That was a good age. In fact, I celebrate anniversaries of my 25th birthday now instead of adding on the years. And while I may think that I am still 25, the truth looms. I am way closer to 30 than I am to 25. And have a shirt that is seven years old to prove it (plus a few others even older that aren’t allowed in public anymore). I’m still not sure how this happened? I don’t feel old and get carded frequently enough to know that I don’t look all that old. Perhaps it is because my lifestyle is similar to what it was at 25: single, living downtown, enjoying life and my disposable income. I haven’t gotten married nor had children like many of my friends. Do they feel older because of that? I have no idea.

Age again was thrown into my face at a recent volleyball game. I play with a bunch of ex-Linfield players and the other night we came across some new girls in the league who also had played for Linfield. Only they were freshman when the youngest girls on my team were seniors. Which means that they weren’t even in college when I was. How did I become one of the old ladies in the league?

All this led me to wondering if we ever actually feel our age? With the obvious exception of our 80’s when none of our joints work correctly anymore. Is there a point that we stop feeling like we’re still 25 and begin to realize that we’re actually 40 or 50? I’m still in my twenties (barely) and I already have a dysfunctional right hip. I’m thinking that doesn’t bode well for my feeling young forever.

I’ve decided to treat aging as I do getting sick. I don’t believe in it, therefore I cannot. It works for sickness 90% of the time, I don’t see why it won’t work for aging. Or at the very least, feeling young. I feel young, therefore I am. As long as my 80-year old hip isn’t acting up anyway.