Rock N Roll Half Marathon

It took me a couple days, but I finally figured out why I was disappointed with my run on Sunday.  I truly believe I ran the best race I could have on that particular day.  It’s the knowing I can do better that is eating at me days later.  I have to keep reminding myself that my time was perfectly respectable, faster actually than I anticipated.  And I finished in the top 20% of my age group and females and the top third of all 11,000+ participants.  But it’s the knowing I can do better that makes me glad I’m only 6 weeks out from my next half marathon. 

The course was more challenging than I anticipated.  While the net elevation change was only 50 feet, the entire course was hilly.  Now anyone who has been to Portland knows the town is built on a hill, but it was the constant up and down that got to me.  More so the up than down.  The up sections were filled with lots of f-bombs going through my head.  The downs with sincere thanks to God.

Perhaps the thing I enjoyed most about the race was the road support from complete strangers.  The entire 13.1 mile course was lined with people cheering for the runners.  People out to breakfast on Hawthorne sat outside cheering while drinking their coffee and eating their pancakes.  Little kids stood in the rain trying to get high-fives.  One man stood at the end of his driveway playing the banjo on a particularly steep uphill climb.  Of all the races I’ve done this one by far had the most people cheering.  As someone who does the entire race alone and doesn’t come with my own cheering squad, it’s nice to have strangers lining the course cheering you up a hill.

The hardest part for me wasn’t getting through 13 miles.  It was the fact that I felt tired starting at mile three.  My legs and lungs were fine, but my body and mind were tired.  Typically at the 10 mile marker I start to pick up the pace.  At that point, there is only a 5k left and it’s time to get moving.  At mile 12 I was completely shot.  Everyone like to race into the finish, but I was done.  Instead of going balls out the last mile like everyone else, I was hanging on for dear life.  Instead of sprinting into the finish, I was telling myself you can’t walk into the finish with all these people watching.  Instead of finishing strong, I felt beat to hell.  Never before have I had absolutely zero kick at the end of a race.  My mind wanted to go faster.  My body gave my brain a giant middle finger.

So what was the problem?  Probably a combination of things.  First of all I shouldn’t expect to be at peak racing performance after only 3 months of running after having taken the previous six months off.  I also think nutrition played a big part.  Somehow I had just enough calories to run but not as many as I need to race.  At least not the way I would like. 

I have to keep reminding myself how far I’ve come.  No, I didn’t PR, but I ran a solid race, quicker than I anticipated and best of all, I’m not broken.  I have the usual post-race aches and pains but not the debilitating injuries I’m used to having after training of this sort. 

Right now I’m really glad I signed up for another half.  With another 100 miles of training under my belt and some dietary revisions, I’m excited to see what is possible in Missoula in six weeks.

Running Smarter

One thing that stands out in my memory of the 2008 Summer Olympics, aside from Michael Phelps taking home 8 gold medals, is the story of Dara Torres. She was making a comeback after taking years off from swimming, the Olympics and having a kid. In addition to that, I believe she was the oldest swimmer in attendance. I think she only swam the 50 Free, but what I remember most is her talking about how her training had needed to change as she aged. She didn’t just bring a coach to the Olympics, she brought a masseuse and a personal stretcher and a trainer and any number of other specialized people to help her perform at her best.

I hadn’t given that much thought until recently, when I decided to train for a half marathon. Somewhere along the way, I realized that while I wasn’t old, my body was aging. It’s no longer effortless to go out and race a 5k with no training. My body can’t handle running 7 days a week anymore. Hell, my body doesn’t even like running two days in a row at this point. Somewhere along the line, cross training became not only important, but necessary.

But even the cross training has changed. I used to spend time on the elliptical instead of running, which is really stupid because 1) it’s the same motion and 2) I hate the elliptical. So this time around I’m trying to be smarter about training. And part of being smarter means realizing that I probably won’t run low 8’s anymore. Right now I’m struggling to get under 10’s consistently, but the good news is I’m healthy. I’ve added weights and yoga to my cross training. Who would have ever thought I would be doing yoga? But it actually helps, and not just with my flexibility. Yoga gives my mind a chance to recover as well. Running alone gives a person an awful lot of time to be inside your own head! I’m also trying to work on adding swimming to the mix consistently, anything to mix it up to keep me interested in the training process.

And thinking along the lines of Dara Torres, I’m also getting regular massages. Not as regular as I’d like, but regular enough to beat back the major issues that spring up when I run. I still get shin splints and my hips are still tight, but I’m nowhere needing MRI’s, cortisone shots and physical therapy. I consider that serious progress.

I’m five weeks out from the first of two planned half marathons. And for the first time in a long time, I’m more concerned with staying healthy and injury free than I am with my finish time. I’m not getting any quicker as I age, but I’m getting smarter about how I do the things I can enjoy so I can do them for a long time to come.

Backpacking 101

Every now and then I get a bee in my bonnet about doing some event or visiting some place. For example, I must go to Alaska and see Denali. Once I decided I needed to run a half marathon (this year I decided I might need to run two). I also really need to go to Switzerland – my name is Heidi for crying out loud. And I need to see Machu Picchu and Angkor Wat. Recently I decided that I need to hike the West Coast Trail on the west coast of Vancouver Island.

To be completely honest, I’ve never really been backpacking. I went once with my dad and another father/son pair when I was barely old enough to carry my own pack and sleeping bag. While it seemed quite impressive at the time, I have a feeling all I was carrying was my clothes and sleeping bag while my dad carried the tent, food and anything else we would need. Then a couple years ago I backpacked into a cabin in Juneau with some friends. Although it was only about two miles and since the kids were 4 and 3 at the time, it’s not like we were moving very fast. And once again, the guy carried all the really heavy stuff (often in addition to a kid).

But I love to camp, love the outdoors, love to walk and am an excellent packer and organizer. It seemed like this was an adventure made for me. I’ve been slowly stockpiling supplies over the years. I no longer have to borrow my brothers JetBoil, SteriPen. And he even bought me a ¾ size sleeping pad for backpacking. Okay, I thought it as for backpacking, he said it was because I was ¾ the size of a normal person.

I recently attended a “Backpacking 101” class at REI. Whereupon I realized for the first time that I have to carry everything. EVERYTHING. Not just clothes and water, but gear and food and anything else I might need. The idea of a multi-day backpacking trip is much more daunting than it was previously. I knew I would have to pack all my own stuff, but suddenly seeing all the gear laid out, and thinking about organizing food and water and all the other logistics made this venture a bit more daunting than it had been in my mind.

I still need to major items – a backpack and hiking boots. Once I have those things I am ready to go. I think I’ll start with an overnighter and see how that goes first, and then work my way up to a multi-day trip. And then maybe next year I’ll be ready for the West Coast Trail. Once I learn how to pack and am sure I can survive carrying a 50 lb. pack. This should be an interesting adventure.

Welcome Home, Little Brother!

After missing three ceremonies in a row, two deployment and one return, I finally got to shed my worst sister in the world title. After being deployed for a year in Kuwait, again, my little brother finally came home mid-February. And this time I planned no trips for the months surrounding the supposed return date because I’ve learned the hard way that if you’ve scheduled a trip around a ceremony date, it’s practically guaranteed that the Army will change the ceremony date to when you’re scheduled to be on a plane.

This time I was around and able to make it to Ft. Lewis, despite being given only 48 hours notice. Since I live 2.5 hours from Ft. Lewis, this shouldn’t have been an issue at all, except I had decided to make an elaborate welcome home sign to help make up for the fact that I’d never been to a ceremony before. I knew exactly what I wanted the sign to look like and spared no expense. It took going to 3 craft stores before I had all the right materials. Since I couldn’t find a machine that cut out letters, I did it the old fashioned way: printing a stencil template, cutting the stencils out, tracing letters onto the camo paper, cutting out the final letters and retracing and cutting letters L, G, P and R when I learned the hard way that those have to be traced backwards. By the end I was cursing the absurdly long last name we share as my scissor fingers felt permanently dented from overuse. It was a serious process and took over two hours to cut everything out. It was totally worth it though when we got to the ceremony and I had the best looking sign there. My sign kicked all those kids’ “welcome home daddy” signs’ butts. Although to be fair, those were the ones that make a person choke up – not so much the case with my scrapbooked sign. The one thing I was missing was lights. Next time . . . Everyone in the family, and some ceremony attendees, were quite impressed with my sign. I suspect my brother was more impressed and pleased with the two six packs of his favorite beer that came with the sign.

You get used to someone being gone and don’t necessarily recognize all the little things you miss until they’re back. We were able to text and email while he was gone, but with a 10 hour time difference, it wasn’t always easy or timely. Now that he’s back, we’ve been playing “words with friends” and arguing constantly over who stole who’s letters and who is the smarter sibling (me, obviously). I missed going running with him and being able to pick up the phone and call him when something reminded me of him or an inside joke we shared. Perhaps most of all, I missed him bickering with me. We bicker out of love, but nobody can do a verbal sparring match like a Goertzen. I also missed using him for his big screen TV and cable, him yelling at me while trying to play video games because I’m terrible at them and his movie collection, which I used as my own movie library. I even missed being able to see his “you’re an idiot” look when I say something he deems as stupid (I can sense from a distance when I’m getting this look, but it’s just not the same as having it directed to your face).

So welcome home, Bert. I’m so very glad you’re back.

The Break-Up

You know that point of a relationship when you know in your gut it’s not working anymore? It used to be so easy and fun and you just want to get back to good. That point where you know it’s not going to get better, but you still fight it, still try to make it work. You need to pull the plug, but knowing that is what’s best and doing it are two different things? That was how I spent much of 2011. Then in September of 2011, I finally pulled the plug, and broke-up with running.

I used to love to run. It was easy and fun and took very little effort. And somewhere along the road, that all changed. Running became work. I resented the miles I was putting in. And just like anything, person or sport, nobody likes to resent something or someone they once loved. So I took a break. I wasn’t sure how long the break would last, but I needed a serious break. I’ve been running pretty consistently since college. I wasn’t running ultras or even marathons, but I logged miles every single week. With such a dramatic change in my life, I thought I’d feel a little lost. Instead all I felt was relief.

I spent about five months doing anything but running. I didn’t even have a pair of running shoes. Instead I went for walks, lifted weights and did a little of nothing. For once in my life I wasn’t worried about logging miles or working out every single day. My body and my psyche started to heal and running was no longer an enemy.

And just like when you end a relationship with a person, eventually you’re ready to try again. My legs started to get twitchy, like they were ready for more than just a walk. I finally felt ready to give running a try again. I started just running a little bit, a couple miles. And it didn’t suck. And then I found myself putting on my running shoes on a Saturday afternoon for the first time in a long time. I updated my running ipod and set off into the sunshine. Sunshine in February, how could I resist? Perhaps most important was what I didn’t take. I left my Garmin at home. All I wanted to do was enjoy a run. It didn’t matter how far I went or how fast (or slow) my pace was. It didn’t matter that I walked up a hill that I usually run up. All that mattered was that I was running. And it was fun again.

Once again I felt relief. Relief that maybe my relationship with running wasn’t over after all. Maybe, like Ross and Rachel, all we needed was a break. In effort to preserve the enjoyment of running, I have a new goal. Not to run a marathon or a sub-7 mile. No, this goal is a little more simple and enjoyable. To leave the Garmin at home a little more often and just run for the sheer joy of it.

The Wingwoman

After years of searching, I have finally found what I’ve always been looking for . . . the perfect wingman. Or in this case, wingwoman.

One of my goals this year is to get out of my comfort zone and try new things. Which is how I found myself at a networking event on a Tuesday night. Knowing that I need to meet some new people and also knowing that I’m not great at small talk and starting conversations with strangers, I made friends come with me. Friends who are good at small talk and talking to strangers. Friends like Jen.
Upon our arrival, Jen managed to strike up a conversation with a cute guy before we even put our coats down. Brilliant. Best of all, Jen is married and noticeably pregnant (by noticeably, I do not mean large, I mean very cutely pregnant looking with a sweet little volleyball in front) in addition to being great at talking to people.

To my great delight, the same cute guy found us later in the evening, with additional cute guy friends in tow. Besides being unavailable to cute single boys, Jen is also a great wingwoman because she doesn’t try to steal the stage. She helps carry on the conversation, but isn’t overwhelming, and makes sure I can be involved in the conversation too so that it’s not assumed I’m a mute. And when one cute boy says he’s from Montana, the response is, “Oh my gosh, Heidi is from Montana too!”

So now that I’ve found her, or not so much her but this untapped skill of wingwoman, we have a lot of networking to do before this baby comes.

Not So Observant

I like to think of myself as a fairly observant person. I often am able to figure out who the killers are before the big reveal in books and movies. If I hear weird noises, I check the clock in case I have to talk to the cops later (maybe I should read/watch less of the aforementioned books and movies). On walks, I study a person I pass and then see how much I can remember later. Again, practice for a future situation where I have to give a description of a perp to the police. Okay, I seriously need to cut back on the murder mysteries, thrillers and crime dramas.

All this to say that when it comes to an attractive member of the opposite sex, I am totally oblivious. I can tell you what the weird ones look like, but the good looking ones? Not so much.

I have two recent examples of this. A couple weeks ago, a friend and I were at an Icebreaker sample sale. For those of you unfamiliar with the Icebreaker brand, they make amazing wool gear that is soft enough to wear next to your skin. And full retail is crazy expensive so the only way I can touch their gear is at the sample sale. My friend had warned me that events like this were a great place to check out guys. And we already had something in common in liking high-quality outdoor performance gear. I learned that night that sale shopping and checking out guys at the same time is not a good mixer for me. After we were sitting down to tots and a beer, post-sale, my friend asked me if I noticed anyone extra cute. Anyone who? All I saw were amazing clothes 80% off and other women trying to get to the cute stuff before me.

A couple weeks later I was telling the same friend about this cute guy I’ve seen running the waterfront at lunch when I’m taking my walk. Here’s how the conversation went:
Abby: What did he look like?
Heidi: He was cute. He had a nice beard. And he’s obviously a runner which is cool.
A: Aside from having a beard, what did he look like?
H: Cute.
A: Okay, lets try this, how tall was he?
H: Hmmmmm. Taller than me?
A: Most people are taller than you.
H: Then yes, he was definitely taller than me.
A: What about his eyes?
H: (Pause) He definitely had eyes.

This went on for a while. Clearly a goal for 2012 needs to be to transition from worrying about potentially having to accurately report a crime and focusing on cute boys I see. After all, I’ve never even seen a crime, aside from the drug deals in Old Town and occasional jaywalking. I can’t imagine it’s too much of a hardship to focus my attention on good looking guys. As far as goals for the new year go, I think that is the best one yet I’ve come up with.

She's Got L'eggs

“She’s got legs, and she knows how to use them,” sang the L’eggs advertisements back in the day. I didn’t realize how far back in the day until I read an article saying that L’eggs was running its first advertisements in 15 years. Apparently they believe that Kate Middleton and 80 year old women around the globe are enough to bring the torture devices back.

I own exactly one pair of panty hose, which I bought for my first job eight years ago. They’re still in the cardboard container. I keep them because I like to imagine the look on some alien archeologist’s face when he comes to learn about the life that used to inhabit Earth and finds a pair of pantyhose. Because how funny is it to think of an alien picking those up, thinking WTF, and then trying to figure out WTF those were used for, much less why they were created?

Today I wore a pair of tights, thinking they couldn’t possibly be as bad as panty hose were. After all, everyone else looks so cute in them. Tights are only mildly less annoying than panty hose. They are just warmer and still a huge inconvenience. And aside from the extra effort they take every time a bathroom break is taken, they just plain don’t fit right. I have never found a pair of panty hose or tights that fit right. I’m convinced that not a single pair of them actually fit a woman in the world. They come in exactly three sizes for a million different body sizes. We can come up with hundreds of styles and sizes for jeans, but we can’t create panty hose that fit a person? How utterly ridiculous is that? As I write this, I’m constantly adjusting the tights that in order to fit over my legs, also have to be long enough to reach my neck. I wish I were joking.

I’ve read multiple articles about how Kate Middleton wears panty hose and if anyone is going to bring them back its her. Kate is beautiful, but I’m willing to bet that she wouldn’t wear them either if she didn’t have to. Panty hose are a propriety thing. And an old fashioned thing. All of which the British monarchy represents. You think she’s choosing to wear panty hose? Please, she wears them because if she didn’t, instead of writing articles about how she’s bringing them back the media would be focusing on how un-proper, un-ladylike and un-royal she is.

You know who openly admits to disliking panty hose? Michelle Obama. I’m siding with her. Plus her arms are amazing. Until they can make me panty hose that actually fit, I’m out. Someone please invent the tights or panty hose where I can buy them by leg width and length, so I don’t have to wear them up to my neck, as well as ones that aren’t so tight at the waste that they squeeze fat out of a Victoria Secret model. I recommend that whoever created the yoga pant work on the tights issue. Until then, L’eggs, good luck bringing panty hose back into style.

Gobble Gobble

I love tradition, especially around the holidays. For me, the holidays aren’t about the feast or the presents, but about being with family. Unfortunately this year, what has become my Thanksgiving tradition is not happening. Normally I head to my Auntie Gayle and Uncle Jeff’s house and stay with them for the long weekend, as it is a long trip to Montana for dinner. This year, they have opted to visit their youngest son in Denver, leaving their two older children, their spouses and I adrift on Turkey Day.

So my Turkey tradition since I started college is not happening this year. I was pondering what to do when my dad offered to fly me home. It’s so rare that I get to go home to Montana during any part of the year other than Christmas, I took him up on it. One of my ousted cousins and her husband are also coming over to MT to eat turkey.

Going home for Thanksgiving got me thinking about my holiday memories. Don’t be horrified by this next statement, but the food isn’t my favorite part. I know, the horror. But let’s think about this, even though I’m a slightly less picky eater now than I was a kid, I still don’t like my food to touch. Feast days designed around seeing how much food you can fit onto a single plate are tough on a girl who still doesn’t like her mashed potatoes touching the stuffing.

I don’t remember how old I was for the worst Thanksgiving ever. We lived in the little blue house in town, although since my parents painted it soon after buying it, I’m not sure why I still think of it as the little blue house. I’m guessing I was still in elementary school, somewhere between 3rd and 6th grades. That was the year my mom not only made every horrible vegetable you can think of, but also made me try all of them. Instead of my plate being covered in my favorite mashed potatoes and gravy, it had the dreaded brussel sprouts and squash on it. Luckily, after gagging repeatedly while still at the table, I was sent to the bathroom while everyone else finished dinner. Fine by me as long as I didn’t have to eat the damn sprouts and squash.

To this day, the idea of squash still makes my stomach turn. For the first time in 20 years, a brussel sprout passed my lips this past spring. But only because my aunt drowned them in butter. They weren’t terrible. I’d consider eating them again if they were baked.

Now since I rarely go home for Thanksgiving, I can submit my food requests. Ironically, things that I didn’t like as a kid are on the list now. I’m talking pierogi’s, not squash and brussel sprouts. And now the Thanksgiving I spent in the bathroom is a funny memory for all. Jokes on you squash.

Responsible is the New Sexy

One of my dearest and closest friends often describes me as stable. It’s true, I am. But that isn’t the first adjective I want used to describe me to the opposite sex. Stable isn’t sexy and alluring. Almost any other adjective would be better. Cute, witty, smart, short, great taste in shoes, outdoorsy, citified, and sarcastic or as one friend likes to say about me, I have some bite. Stable? How boring is that. And I am, stable and what could be perceived as boring, but that isn’t exactly fly paper for the opposite sex.

Ironically, I was talking to a friend about guys and she mentioned having a single guy friend. She went on to describe him as cute, responsible, has a good job, lives downtown, etc. My response? “You had me at responsible.” At what age do we forgo the sexier adjectives and start becoming attracted to the boring adjectives like responsible and stable?

We used to want to date the high school quarterback because he was a jock and that position is perceived as sexy. Now we want to date the guy who brings home a consistent paycheck, pays his student loans on time and doesn’t have credit card debt. Smoking used to be the major deal-breaker. As you get older and build your own life, fiscal irresponsibility ends up at the top of that list as well. Even my friends who are married say one of the things they love most about their spouse is that they are responsible.

If what we perceive as desirable in the opposite sex changes this much from ages 15 to 30, I can’t imagine what I’ll be looking for when I’m 80. Teeth, perhaps?