Showers . . . throughout life you are inundated with the opportunity to take a shower. Showers in the traditional sense aren’t so bad as long as you have hot water and yummy smelling soap.
There are a couple of other kinds of showers however that are incredibly painful. That’s right; I am talking about the wedding shower and the baby shower. Whoever invented these torture devices sure knew what they were doing. They lure you in with the promise of cake and then out of nowhere, you have to dispense advice and play word scrambles.
I usually end up going to showers for the cake. I always have the hope that it is from some yummy bakery with a ridiculous amount of thick sugary frosting. Lately though, I’ve been getting cake with some kind of fruity jelly in the middle. The more often I go to showers with bad cake, the more I ask myself what I am doing there.
It is inevitable that you end up playing games that the hostess thinks are really cute and fun. Myself, and a number of my friends, think these games suck. My least favorite shower game is the one where I have to write down a piece of advice on a decorated piece of paper. The person of honor then has to read the advice out loud and guess who dispensed the tidbit of infinite wisdom so they can open the present you had to get for them. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem buying people gifts. It is the dispensing of advice that I have a problem with. I am not married and do not have children . . . what on earth makes you think I am capable of giving you any advice? Obviously you are already way ahead of me since you are getting married and/or having children, I haven’t even tricked anyone into going on a date with me yet.
Other shower games I despise include the word scramble, the wedding dress out of toilet paper, guessing how long of a string it would take to go around someone’s belly, nursery rhymes, and candy bars melted into diapers. And the one where all the kitchen gadgets are attached to an apron, the bride to be parades around in the apron for 30 seconds, and you have to remember everything that was on the damn apron.
Recently, I went to the best baby shower I’ve ever gone to however. What makes it the best ever? It was co-ed, and like all showers, they are always more fun when co-ed. Co-ed showers are great because you usually get to replace the games with alcohol. At this particular baby shower, the daddy to be decided that as they were opening gifts, anytime someone said the word “cute,” everyone had to take a drink. This is my kind of shower.
Showers should be more like parties in general. Increase the alcohol available, mini quiches are a must and no more cake with crappy fruit filling. Also, please invite the boys because they are entertaining while they are uncomfortable in the shower situation and they help to decrease the number of “ahhhhhhs” you hear. And because all showers are more fun when they are co-ed.
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