The Stride of Pride

I had gone for a quick run early one Saturday morning and passed a guy who smelled delicious. But not man delicious like, soap and maybe some light cologne. Girl delicious, like coconuts and flowers. With the smell of the tropics lingering in my nose I thought to myself, does it still count as the walk of shame if you’re dressed in normal clothes, but you clearly helped yourself to some girls’ shampoo and body wash?

I posed this question to my fellow cube mates, all of whom happen to be male, the next week at work. Turns out it’s not a walk of shame at all . . . it’s the stride of pride. After I stopped laughing and realized they were serious I was mystified by the double standard. Their theory was that as long as you’re having a good time and no one gets hurt, why should it be shameful? And common sense gets the square.

This leads to the whole question of double standards though. Why do women get the shame and met get the pride? And why we’re on the subject, why are women who sleep around whores but men are studs?

One of my guys informed me that this is the way of the world. While women get some of the unpleasant labels for not yet socially acceptable behavior, we also get some benefits that men don’t get. Doors are held open for us, drinks are purchased for us at bars, we’re not expected to pay on the first date (although the check tug-of-war is highly encouraged) and if we’re on a sinking ship, we get the lifeboats first.

I don’t recall having done the walk of shame, but if it happens in the future I’m going to call it the stride of pride. I’m willing to trade lifeboat privileges for that.