You know what I love about Portlanders? The rain never stops them. In the constant drizzle that is the Portland winter, there are always people outside not letting the weather getting the best of the outdoor spirit.
As is usual in October, it was a rainy Saturday. It wasn’t just the normal drizzle, but a serious downpour. Low and behold, the rain stopped for a bit in the afternoon. At this point, I decided this was the perfect opportunity to go for a run since it had stopped raining. Not five minutes into my run did it start drizzling again. I decided to keep running since it wasn’t raining to hard and figured that other people would just think I was slightly crazy. By the time I made it to the waterfront and was stopped by a train, I was starting to regret my decision but decided to run on.
Where I expected to be one of the few people out and about, I was once again impressed by the Portlander spirit, as the waterfront was still bustling. There was a steady rain the whole run, but it wasn’t until on my way back that the serious downpour started up gain.
The sun came out, the rain was pouring down so hard I couldn’t keep it out of my eyes, my feet were sloshing in my shoes, and there was a rainbow over the river. In the middle of the Eagles “Get Over It,” I thought to myself, this is the best run ever! Damn, but if I didn’t turn into a Portlander without my knowing it.
October 21, 2007
October 19, 2007
Showers - Always More Fun When Co-Ed
Showers . . . throughout life you are inundated with the opportunity to take a shower. Showers in the traditional sense aren’t so bad as long as you have hot water and yummy smelling soap.
There are a couple of other kinds of showers however that are incredibly painful. That’s right; I am talking about the wedding shower and the baby shower. Whoever invented these torture devices sure knew what they were doing. They lure you in with the promise of cake and then out of nowhere, you have to dispense advice and play word scrambles.
I usually end up going to showers for the cake. I always have the hope that it is from some yummy bakery with a ridiculous amount of thick sugary frosting. Lately though, I’ve been getting cake with some kind of fruity jelly in the middle. The more often I go to showers with bad cake, the more I ask myself what I am doing there.
It is inevitable that you end up playing games that the hostess thinks are really cute and fun. Myself, and a number of my friends, think these games suck. My least favorite shower game is the one where I have to write down a piece of advice on a decorated piece of paper. The person of honor then has to read the advice out loud and guess who dispensed the tidbit of infinite wisdom so they can open the present you had to get for them. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem buying people gifts. It is the dispensing of advice that I have a problem with. I am not married and do not have children . . . what on earth makes you think I am capable of giving you any advice? Obviously you are already way ahead of me since you are getting married and/or having children, I haven’t even tricked anyone into going on a date with me yet.
Other shower games I despise include the word scramble, the wedding dress out of toilet paper, guessing how long of a string it would take to go around someone’s belly, nursery rhymes, and candy bars melted into diapers. And the one where all the kitchen gadgets are attached to an apron, the bride to be parades around in the apron for 30 seconds, and you have to remember everything that was on the damn apron.
Recently, I went to the best baby shower I’ve ever gone to however. What makes it the best ever? It was co-ed, and like all showers, they are always more fun when co-ed. Co-ed showers are great because you usually get to replace the games with alcohol. At this particular baby shower, the daddy to be decided that as they were opening gifts, anytime someone said the word “cute,” everyone had to take a drink. This is my kind of shower.
Showers should be more like parties in general. Increase the alcohol available, mini quiches are a must and no more cake with crappy fruit filling. Also, please invite the boys because they are entertaining while they are uncomfortable in the shower situation and they help to decrease the number of “ahhhhhhs” you hear. And because all showers are more fun when they are co-ed.
There are a couple of other kinds of showers however that are incredibly painful. That’s right; I am talking about the wedding shower and the baby shower. Whoever invented these torture devices sure knew what they were doing. They lure you in with the promise of cake and then out of nowhere, you have to dispense advice and play word scrambles.
I usually end up going to showers for the cake. I always have the hope that it is from some yummy bakery with a ridiculous amount of thick sugary frosting. Lately though, I’ve been getting cake with some kind of fruity jelly in the middle. The more often I go to showers with bad cake, the more I ask myself what I am doing there.
It is inevitable that you end up playing games that the hostess thinks are really cute and fun. Myself, and a number of my friends, think these games suck. My least favorite shower game is the one where I have to write down a piece of advice on a decorated piece of paper. The person of honor then has to read the advice out loud and guess who dispensed the tidbit of infinite wisdom so they can open the present you had to get for them. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem buying people gifts. It is the dispensing of advice that I have a problem with. I am not married and do not have children . . . what on earth makes you think I am capable of giving you any advice? Obviously you are already way ahead of me since you are getting married and/or having children, I haven’t even tricked anyone into going on a date with me yet.
Other shower games I despise include the word scramble, the wedding dress out of toilet paper, guessing how long of a string it would take to go around someone’s belly, nursery rhymes, and candy bars melted into diapers. And the one where all the kitchen gadgets are attached to an apron, the bride to be parades around in the apron for 30 seconds, and you have to remember everything that was on the damn apron.
Recently, I went to the best baby shower I’ve ever gone to however. What makes it the best ever? It was co-ed, and like all showers, they are always more fun when co-ed. Co-ed showers are great because you usually get to replace the games with alcohol. At this particular baby shower, the daddy to be decided that as they were opening gifts, anytime someone said the word “cute,” everyone had to take a drink. This is my kind of shower.
Showers should be more like parties in general. Increase the alcohol available, mini quiches are a must and no more cake with crappy fruit filling. Also, please invite the boys because they are entertaining while they are uncomfortable in the shower situation and they help to decrease the number of “ahhhhhhs” you hear. And because all showers are more fun when they are co-ed.
October 17, 2007
Can Coffee Imply Craziness?
Many years ago, a magnificent movie called “When Harry Met Sally” came out. In it, Billy Crystal expertly explains to Meg Ryan the difference between high maintenance and low maintenance girls. I won’t bore you with the details, but if you haven’t seen the movie, you should because it does a great job explaining the differences between men and women. Especially if you’re a high maintenance girl who thinks she is low maintenance. According to Billy, those are the worst kind.
How to determine how much maintenance a person takes has always been a topic of discussion. I recently saw a bit on the Today Show that talked about a new possible way to discover what you are getting yourself into . . . the coffee order. We’ve all been stuck behind the person who orders a venti triple soy extra hot sugar free vanilla latte mocha. I don’t even know if that is a real drink, but it sounds crazy and complicated, just like girls.
Supposedly, the more complicated the drink order, the more complicated the girl. One male dating expert on the segment encouraged girls to order their normal drink, because guys deserve to know how crazy you really are right from the start. I do know a lot of girls who order bizarre obscure drinks and are in fact, high maintenance. For many girls, this theory does hold true.
Unfortunately, this theory is also full of holes. The primary holes are the equally high maintenance girls who order black coffee or an Americano. I myself am an Americano with room girl and am high maintenance, even though I like to think I am low maintenance. Yup, the worst kind . . .
So although a girls coffee order can give you a clue into just how crazy or high maintenance she is, keep in mind that coffee does not tell you the whole story. Beware of the simply sounding “I’ll have an Americano with room please” girls. I have a feeling that those are the ones who really knock you for a loop.
How to determine how much maintenance a person takes has always been a topic of discussion. I recently saw a bit on the Today Show that talked about a new possible way to discover what you are getting yourself into . . . the coffee order. We’ve all been stuck behind the person who orders a venti triple soy extra hot sugar free vanilla latte mocha. I don’t even know if that is a real drink, but it sounds crazy and complicated, just like girls.
Supposedly, the more complicated the drink order, the more complicated the girl. One male dating expert on the segment encouraged girls to order their normal drink, because guys deserve to know how crazy you really are right from the start. I do know a lot of girls who order bizarre obscure drinks and are in fact, high maintenance. For many girls, this theory does hold true.
Unfortunately, this theory is also full of holes. The primary holes are the equally high maintenance girls who order black coffee or an Americano. I myself am an Americano with room girl and am high maintenance, even though I like to think I am low maintenance. Yup, the worst kind . . .
So although a girls coffee order can give you a clue into just how crazy or high maintenance she is, keep in mind that coffee does not tell you the whole story. Beware of the simply sounding “I’ll have an Americano with room please” girls. I have a feeling that those are the ones who really knock you for a loop.
October 15, 2007
Why Long Distance Dating is the Answer . . . Or Not
Girls are attracted to the jerk, the bad boy, the guy who doesn't pay attention to them, or the unavailable. When they meet the guy who really, really likes them back and showers them with attention, they get bored because it can be irritating if you're not as into them as they are into you. I am going out on a limb here, but I am guessing that to a certain extent, guys feel the same way. This theory is based upon the attitudes of a couple of my good friends.
Because people are less attracted to someone who smothers them, a long distance relationship is perfect. You see each other for a couple of days at a time. By the time you are getting sick of all the togetherness, you are going your separate ways where you can live your own lives once again. You don't have to clear your schedule with the other person because they don't live there. You don't have to go to their work functions or hang out with their annoying friends. It is harder to get annoyed with them because they are so far away so you spend less time fighting when you are together. Yet you still have someone to call when you're having a bad day, need someone to make you laugh, and feel like flirting.
Although to be honest, I hate running errands by myself, I hate going to the grocery store by myself, I hate showing up at parties by myself, I hate not having someone to go to a movie with, I hate not having a date for a wedding, and I hate not having someone to travel with, or someone to go camping with, or skiing with, or play tennis with, or go golfing with. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly capable and willing to do all those things myself (except maybe for playing tennis, that would be challenging). I would just prefer to have someone else to drag along.
So maybe long distance isn't the answer. Maybe just across town? Or the next town over?
Or perhaps when you meet the right person, none of this even matters.
In the meantime boys, keep in mind that there are a number of girls out there who like the chase just as much as you do. Don’t make it toooo easy.
Soul Mates?
Since the topic was good enough to discuss on Sex and the City and FRIENDS, I decided it was good enough for my blog. Especially since there is so much controversy around the idea.
I took a non-random poll (aka, I asked my friends) of what people thought of the idea of soul mates. The results were actually interesting.
Two of the people got married super young and have strong and successful marriages. They believe in soul mates. My friends who I consider to be romantics also believed in soul mates. My friends who are as or more cynical than myself, told me my survey was a load of crap and of course there was no such thing. The most common theme was that people did not believe as much in a soul mate (singular) but did believe in soul mates (plural). (Obviously this poll is not statistically significant.)
So, where do I fall into the mix? I think the idea is nice, but being my cynical self and also still being single, I have my doubts. Am I really supposed to put my trust and faith in the universe or other higher power that someday the perfect person for me is going to drop in my lap? What if they never do? Is fate cruel enough to have you live in the US and your soul mate be from another country? What if you never even meet this person?
Being a bit of a control freak, ok, a lot of a control freak, believing that there is one perfect person out there and I have no control over how or when I meet them is a bit of a stretch for me.
What about more than one soul mate? I think that this is closer to the mark, but I'm not sold. Having there only be one perfect person for you I think is a load of crap. Could there be multiple people perfect for you? This way you have a higher chance of at least meeting them.
My beliefs about soul mates fall more in line with Monica's on FRIENDS. I do not think there is one perfect person out there. I'm not even convinced that there are multiple perfect people out there for you. I don't actually believe in the perfect person. I'm even willing to admit that I am not perfect (please don't pass that onto any future boyfriends I may acquire).
I think that there are a number of people out there who possess the major qualities that are very important to me and pass all the "deal breaker" tests. I think you find someone who you think you can make a life with, you figure out what is important to both of you, and then work like hell to trick them into falling in love and marrying you.
I think relationships of all forms take a lot of effort and work from all parties to make them successful. Romantic relationships and/or marriage aren't any different. My goal is to find someone who shares the same values and beliefs as I do and is willing to work equally hard to make it last.
So do I believe in soul mates? Not so much. But I reserve the right to change my mind of one falls in my lap.
I took a non-random poll (aka, I asked my friends) of what people thought of the idea of soul mates. The results were actually interesting.
Two of the people got married super young and have strong and successful marriages. They believe in soul mates. My friends who I consider to be romantics also believed in soul mates. My friends who are as or more cynical than myself, told me my survey was a load of crap and of course there was no such thing. The most common theme was that people did not believe as much in a soul mate (singular) but did believe in soul mates (plural). (Obviously this poll is not statistically significant.)
So, where do I fall into the mix? I think the idea is nice, but being my cynical self and also still being single, I have my doubts. Am I really supposed to put my trust and faith in the universe or other higher power that someday the perfect person for me is going to drop in my lap? What if they never do? Is fate cruel enough to have you live in the US and your soul mate be from another country? What if you never even meet this person?
Being a bit of a control freak, ok, a lot of a control freak, believing that there is one perfect person out there and I have no control over how or when I meet them is a bit of a stretch for me.
What about more than one soul mate? I think that this is closer to the mark, but I'm not sold. Having there only be one perfect person for you I think is a load of crap. Could there be multiple people perfect for you? This way you have a higher chance of at least meeting them.
My beliefs about soul mates fall more in line with Monica's on FRIENDS. I do not think there is one perfect person out there. I'm not even convinced that there are multiple perfect people out there for you. I don't actually believe in the perfect person. I'm even willing to admit that I am not perfect (please don't pass that onto any future boyfriends I may acquire).
I think that there are a number of people out there who possess the major qualities that are very important to me and pass all the "deal breaker" tests. I think you find someone who you think you can make a life with, you figure out what is important to both of you, and then work like hell to trick them into falling in love and marrying you.
I think relationships of all forms take a lot of effort and work from all parties to make them successful. Romantic relationships and/or marriage aren't any different. My goal is to find someone who shares the same values and beliefs as I do and is willing to work equally hard to make it last.
So do I believe in soul mates? Not so much. But I reserve the right to change my mind of one falls in my lap.
Boys NOT to Date
My girlfriends and I are all smart girls. So why do we end up dating loser guys? No matter how limited your dating experience, everyone has a story or an addition to their list of "what not do date." The following is a list of things that some girls have learned the hard way the types of boys they do not want to date.
*Boys who want to be stand up comedians
*Boys who have no desire to have a real job and in an income
*Boys who live in the same town as their crazy ex-girlfriends
*Boys who can't figure out that their ex's are crazy and shouldn't date them again
*Boys who cannot decide if they are actually broken up with ex-girlfriends or not
*Boys who only text you at 2am when they're drunk
*Boys who decide they want to live in another country
*Boys who do not want to spend time with you
*Boys who cry more than you do
*Boys who start talking marriage/babies after the first time you make out
*Boys who reference their mothers a lot. Like A LOT
*Boys who do not have a job*Boys who do not care that they do not have a job
*Boys who do not care that they do not have a job and smoke weed all day
*Boys who do not care that they do not have a job and smoke weed all day and drive your car and spend your money
*Boys who love their hometowns more than you
*Boys whose wrists are smaller than yours
*Boys who buy a new car instead of paying their student loans
*Boys who buy DVD's instead of food
*Boys who want to be stand up comedians
*Boys who have no desire to have a real job and in an income
*Boys who live in the same town as their crazy ex-girlfriends
*Boys who can't figure out that their ex's are crazy and shouldn't date them again
*Boys who cannot decide if they are actually broken up with ex-girlfriends or not
*Boys who only text you at 2am when they're drunk
*Boys who decide they want to live in another country
*Boys who do not want to spend time with you
*Boys who cry more than you do
*Boys who start talking marriage/babies after the first time you make out
*Boys who reference their mothers a lot. Like A LOT
*Boys who do not have a job*Boys who do not care that they do not have a job
*Boys who do not care that they do not have a job and smoke weed all day
*Boys who do not care that they do not have a job and smoke weed all day and drive your car and spend your money
*Boys who love their hometowns more than you
*Boys whose wrists are smaller than yours
*Boys who buy a new car instead of paying their student loans
*Boys who buy DVD's instead of food
Give me Golf
I once read this article that talked about how golf can help women become more successful in the workplace. A person’s golf game sheds light on their character much faster than sitting in an office. In this article Judy Anderson said, "Everything you do in golf is a reflection of who you are in business, because there are just so many parallels. You get to see all aspects of a person: how they are under stress, how they handle problems; how they are when things are really, really going bad; how they handle the agony of defeat as well as the victories; and time management. Their whole personality really does come out. It can come out in the negative as well as the positive."
While I was reading this, I was thinking how this made total sense. You get a huge sense of a person’s character when playing golf with them. This is especially true if you are a girl who is not afraid to play with the boys.
As I continued thinking, I came to the conclusion that if golf is such a good measure of character for business, why not dating? What better way to get to really know someone but by going golfing? I once took a guy I was dating golfing. By the 3rd hole, I was about 10 strokes ahead of him and he responded by swinging his driver at his bag like a baseball bat until it fell over. I told him if he was done throwing tantrums, he could continue playing, otherwise he could wait for me in the parking lot and I was never going to play with him again.
My one time golfing with a date did not go well, and needless to say, I'm no longer dating that guy. Which is why this article got me thinking that if you golf on the first date, you get a glimpse of all that personality and character a person has right off the bat. You see them frustrated, because who isn’t frustrated at some point while golfing, you see how they handle stress, and how they handle losing to a girl. All of those things people try and hide until you fall madly in love with them and then you just have to live with all that junk.
I am done with the dinner and a movie scene. Give me golf or give me death. Or at least give me golf as the first date.
While I was reading this, I was thinking how this made total sense. You get a huge sense of a person’s character when playing golf with them. This is especially true if you are a girl who is not afraid to play with the boys.
As I continued thinking, I came to the conclusion that if golf is such a good measure of character for business, why not dating? What better way to get to really know someone but by going golfing? I once took a guy I was dating golfing. By the 3rd hole, I was about 10 strokes ahead of him and he responded by swinging his driver at his bag like a baseball bat until it fell over. I told him if he was done throwing tantrums, he could continue playing, otherwise he could wait for me in the parking lot and I was never going to play with him again.
My one time golfing with a date did not go well, and needless to say, I'm no longer dating that guy. Which is why this article got me thinking that if you golf on the first date, you get a glimpse of all that personality and character a person has right off the bat. You see them frustrated, because who isn’t frustrated at some point while golfing, you see how they handle stress, and how they handle losing to a girl. All of those things people try and hide until you fall madly in love with them and then you just have to live with all that junk.
I am done with the dinner and a movie scene. Give me golf or give me death. Or at least give me golf as the first date.
Can You Have Your Cake and Eat it Too?
Everybody loves cake, especially me. And it isn’t just the finished product that I enjoy. Who doesn’t stick their finger in the batter while you’re mixing everything up? Or who doesn’t like to lick the beaters, bowl, or spoon? If cake is the steady relationship and batter are the fun hookups, can you eat the batter and have cake too?
Eventually most people want to head straight for the cake. They’re aware of the risks that the raw eggs in batter represent and are no longer interested in the danger. This is why you are given a piece of cake at weddings, and not a bowl full of batter. Cake, if treated carefully, wrapped up so that it doesn’t dry out, can be great for long periods of time. There is always a chance that eventually it goes bad, but you’re not dealing with an ingredient known to make people sick.
Batter is by far more exciting. You have the risk of getting sick from the eggs and it just tastes better. How much batter can you eat without getting sick though? How many fun or random hookups can you enjoy before the batter starts to taste bitter?
Can you ever have the batter and the cake? Is there a chance that while testing out the batter, you find a person you want to make cake with? Deep down, I think this is what most girls are hoping happens. Girls tend to be more emotionally involved in any kind of relationship than a guy. Are the majority of girls ready to just dip their finger into the batter now and again without actually eating the cake? I actually enjoy both, but I recognize in myself that I have a hard time not wanting the cake too.
Boys my age are designed to only eat batter, where as girls are not. They are perfectly happy licking the bowl and never wanting or needing a piece of cake. Why? Because they don’t overanalyze life, much less relationships.
And even if you know the boys only thinks it is batter and eventually you are looking for cake, is it wrong to enjoy the batter? Knowing that you will maybe end up with hurt feelings, is the batter worth the risk? Or if you are the one who like the batter but not the cake, is it wrong to take the batter someone offers you even if you know they wanted to make cake out of it?
Someday Id like to have the cake, but in the meantime, a spoonful of batter never hurt anyone J
Eventually most people want to head straight for the cake. They’re aware of the risks that the raw eggs in batter represent and are no longer interested in the danger. This is why you are given a piece of cake at weddings, and not a bowl full of batter. Cake, if treated carefully, wrapped up so that it doesn’t dry out, can be great for long periods of time. There is always a chance that eventually it goes bad, but you’re not dealing with an ingredient known to make people sick.
Batter is by far more exciting. You have the risk of getting sick from the eggs and it just tastes better. How much batter can you eat without getting sick though? How many fun or random hookups can you enjoy before the batter starts to taste bitter?
Can you ever have the batter and the cake? Is there a chance that while testing out the batter, you find a person you want to make cake with? Deep down, I think this is what most girls are hoping happens. Girls tend to be more emotionally involved in any kind of relationship than a guy. Are the majority of girls ready to just dip their finger into the batter now and again without actually eating the cake? I actually enjoy both, but I recognize in myself that I have a hard time not wanting the cake too.
Boys my age are designed to only eat batter, where as girls are not. They are perfectly happy licking the bowl and never wanting or needing a piece of cake. Why? Because they don’t overanalyze life, much less relationships.
And even if you know the boys only thinks it is batter and eventually you are looking for cake, is it wrong to enjoy the batter? Knowing that you will maybe end up with hurt feelings, is the batter worth the risk? Or if you are the one who like the batter but not the cake, is it wrong to take the batter someone offers you even if you know they wanted to make cake out of it?
Someday Id like to have the cake, but in the meantime, a spoonful of batter never hurt anyone J
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