I live in a neighborhood that is primarily street parking. It is a very popular neighborhood for tourists to visit, which makes parking increasingly difficult. When people hear where I live the first thing out of their mouth is “I bet it’s really difficult to find parking.” At 2pm on a sunny Saturday afternoon, yes, but for the most part I have very good parking karma.
And I finally figured out why I must have good parking karma. It’s because I don’t ever have dates. I’m pretty sure the karma gods have decided that for me, it is one or the other. A few weeks ago, I went through a very rough parking patch. I would drive around looking for a spot and was never able to find one. I started thinking that maybe this meant a date was coming my way. Alas, this was not to be. Instead of getting a date, I was once again able to find parking with relative ease.
Lucky for me, I’m pretty sure that parking is the right thing to have right now. Not being able to find a parking spot pisses me off a whole lot more than I imagine having a date would make me happy. So karma gods, bring on the open parking spaces.
March 29, 2008
Can Guys and Girls Every Really be Just Friends?
In the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” Billy Crystal’s character does a whole spiel on how men and women can’t be just friends. His reasoning is because no matter what, the guy always wants to sleep with the woman. Not being a guy, I have no idea if this is true or not, but it made me start to think about the so called “friendships” I have with guys.
I hang out with a lot of guys, 99% of which I wouldn’t even think about dating. Some are married some are in serious relationships and a few who are single. Of those who are unattached, it has never crossed my mind to date or to sleep with them. Is it completely naive to think that I can always remain just friends with these guys?
Sometimes it is nice to not be the only single person in the group. While I enjoy being the spare, sometimes it gets old and it’s nice to have someone to partner up with for a few hours strictly on a friend level. It’s nice to have someone to partner up with on game night. It’s also handy to have someone around you’re comfortable with to the point that you can share food and ask each other for favors. No, not those kinds of favors. I’m talking about having someone you can call when you need help carrying something, or you need someone to go to a movie with, or when they can call you to borrow something.
My whole life I’ve hung out with guys and the ones who were really good friends I’ve only ever thought of as friends. But old Billy Crystal got me thinking. Do guys ever really think of girls as just their friends? Or is sex always involved? I had a friend who was hanging out with a guy she thought of strictly as a friend, only to have him unexpectedly lean over and start kissing her. What do you do in a situation like that? Can you ever go back to just being friends? Or were you ever really just friends in the first place?
After polling some friends, I’ve gotten various responses. My dear brother says of course you can just be friends with girls. And he’s the type of guy that could actually think that. What I wonder, with him being quite the charmer, is if the girls he is just “friends” with feel the same? I have a girl friend that told me I was off my rocker for thinking that guys and girls can just be friends. Once one person has feelings, I agree that friendship in the normal sense is not an option. If it was a childhood crush, you stand a better chance of overcoming that. Girls tend to want to have romantic feelings towards a guy, while to Billy Crystal’s point, guys are much less particular about that part.
I’d like to think that guys and girls really can be just friends. Is this just wishful thinking on my part? Can guys and girls really ever just be friends? Not being a guy or having a chance in hell in understanding how they think, don’t have a clue. But as someone who enjoys hanging out with guys simply as friends, I certainly hope so.
I hang out with a lot of guys, 99% of which I wouldn’t even think about dating. Some are married some are in serious relationships and a few who are single. Of those who are unattached, it has never crossed my mind to date or to sleep with them. Is it completely naive to think that I can always remain just friends with these guys?
Sometimes it is nice to not be the only single person in the group. While I enjoy being the spare, sometimes it gets old and it’s nice to have someone to partner up with for a few hours strictly on a friend level. It’s nice to have someone to partner up with on game night. It’s also handy to have someone around you’re comfortable with to the point that you can share food and ask each other for favors. No, not those kinds of favors. I’m talking about having someone you can call when you need help carrying something, or you need someone to go to a movie with, or when they can call you to borrow something.
My whole life I’ve hung out with guys and the ones who were really good friends I’ve only ever thought of as friends. But old Billy Crystal got me thinking. Do guys ever really think of girls as just their friends? Or is sex always involved? I had a friend who was hanging out with a guy she thought of strictly as a friend, only to have him unexpectedly lean over and start kissing her. What do you do in a situation like that? Can you ever go back to just being friends? Or were you ever really just friends in the first place?
After polling some friends, I’ve gotten various responses. My dear brother says of course you can just be friends with girls. And he’s the type of guy that could actually think that. What I wonder, with him being quite the charmer, is if the girls he is just “friends” with feel the same? I have a girl friend that told me I was off my rocker for thinking that guys and girls can just be friends. Once one person has feelings, I agree that friendship in the normal sense is not an option. If it was a childhood crush, you stand a better chance of overcoming that. Girls tend to want to have romantic feelings towards a guy, while to Billy Crystal’s point, guys are much less particular about that part.
I’d like to think that guys and girls really can be just friends. Is this just wishful thinking on my part? Can guys and girls really ever just be friends? Not being a guy or having a chance in hell in understanding how they think, don’t have a clue. But as someone who enjoys hanging out with guys simply as friends, I certainly hope so.
March 20, 2008
Girls and electronics
What is it about electronics that can fuddle even the smartest girl? I consider myself to be pretty knowledgeable and able to handle almost anything myself. I could change a tire if I had to and I own my own electric drill. I can even set the time on my TV and VCR.
But what I can't do is make my TV do what I want. I want my TV hooked up to my stereo so I can play sound through big speakers. I want to be able to play what is on my computer through my TV. After a trip to Radio Shack, one of my guy friends found me the cable that I needed. No, I have no idea what it is called. It is hooked up to my TV, however I can't get what is on my computer to actually go onto the TV. *sigh*
What I really want is to get HDTV without paying for digital cable, so I bought an HDTV receiver. I even got a splitter so I can hook it up with my current cable. Of course, I had to have a guy friend help me find the splitter as well as the connector that is "male" so I could connect two "female" parts. I don't know what they are actually called so I am sticking with parts. Much to my dismay, I still can't get anything to work and have been reduced to doing what has worked for girls for eternity . . .
I'm swapping baked goods for a guy friend to come make my TV do what I want. I may not know how to work my TV, but I know my strengths and am nothing if not resourceful. :)
But what I can't do is make my TV do what I want. I want my TV hooked up to my stereo so I can play sound through big speakers. I want to be able to play what is on my computer through my TV. After a trip to Radio Shack, one of my guy friends found me the cable that I needed. No, I have no idea what it is called. It is hooked up to my TV, however I can't get what is on my computer to actually go onto the TV. *sigh*
What I really want is to get HDTV without paying for digital cable, so I bought an HDTV receiver. I even got a splitter so I can hook it up with my current cable. Of course, I had to have a guy friend help me find the splitter as well as the connector that is "male" so I could connect two "female" parts. I don't know what they are actually called so I am sticking with parts. Much to my dismay, I still can't get anything to work and have been reduced to doing what has worked for girls for eternity . . .
I'm swapping baked goods for a guy friend to come make my TV do what I want. I may not know how to work my TV, but I know my strengths and am nothing if not resourceful. :)
Deal Breakers
Most people have an idea of qualities they would like to find in a potential spouse. Everyone I know have a list of things they absolutely do not want in a spouse. These are frequently known as deal breakers. If a deal breaker is really a deal breaker, why do we let people second guess us about them? Should we be concerned when people judge us for our deal breakers? Even if they are specific issues that are important to you and not to the rest of the people we know, why are we so concerned with what they think about them?
And if a potential date possess at least one deal breaker, aren’t they likely to possess more? My biggest deal breaker is no smoking. I have no desire to be around much less date a smoker. Recently a friend of mine wanted to hook me up with a guy she knew. When pressed, she admitted that this guy smoked. While I was ready to throw in the towel right then, friends convinced me to pass along my number regardless. The boys aren’t exactly beating down my door so at the very least this could be good practice in small talk. So against my gut instinct and my major deal breaker, I passed along my number.
Talking to the guy on the phone ended up going fine. Nice enough guy, but as I suspected, smoking wasn’t the only deal breaker this guy had. Turns out, the guy has two criminal convictions in the form of DUI’s. Most people would tell you that I am a total hard ass and want life to be black and white and while I’m learning that there are shades of gray in the world, drinking and driving is not one of them. And getting caught not once but twice is inexcusable.
Prior to this experience I didn’t realize that I had to put multiple DUI’s and criminal convictions on the list. But it is on there now, along with no smoking, a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, and no crazy religions. My friends may judge me or my personal deal breakers but at the end of the day I’m the one that has to live with my choices. At the end of the day I know they love me and want to see me happy, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree to date people I know are wrong. So hassle me all you like dear friends for being a real life version of Goldilocks who wants everything to be just right, just know that I am sticking to my deal breakers from here on out.
And if a potential date possess at least one deal breaker, aren’t they likely to possess more? My biggest deal breaker is no smoking. I have no desire to be around much less date a smoker. Recently a friend of mine wanted to hook me up with a guy she knew. When pressed, she admitted that this guy smoked. While I was ready to throw in the towel right then, friends convinced me to pass along my number regardless. The boys aren’t exactly beating down my door so at the very least this could be good practice in small talk. So against my gut instinct and my major deal breaker, I passed along my number.
Talking to the guy on the phone ended up going fine. Nice enough guy, but as I suspected, smoking wasn’t the only deal breaker this guy had. Turns out, the guy has two criminal convictions in the form of DUI’s. Most people would tell you that I am a total hard ass and want life to be black and white and while I’m learning that there are shades of gray in the world, drinking and driving is not one of them. And getting caught not once but twice is inexcusable.
Prior to this experience I didn’t realize that I had to put multiple DUI’s and criminal convictions on the list. But it is on there now, along with no smoking, a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, and no crazy religions. My friends may judge me or my personal deal breakers but at the end of the day I’m the one that has to live with my choices. At the end of the day I know they love me and want to see me happy, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree to date people I know are wrong. So hassle me all you like dear friends for being a real life version of Goldilocks who wants everything to be just right, just know that I am sticking to my deal breakers from here on out.
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