There's WHAT In My Food?!

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. That is like telling someone what you wished for when you blow out your birthday candles, win the long side of the wishbone, see the first star of the evening, or catch the clock reading 11:11. Yes, I wish on all of those things. Typically I don’t even give resolutions a thought, however due to the timing; my current focus could be considered a resolution. I prefer to think of it as making a conscious effort. Unlike most of America, my conscious effort was not to join (and actually go) to a gym. This year, I’m trying to teach myself how to make better food decisions and pay attention to what I am putting in my body.

It started during a conversation with a co-worker late last year about high fructose corn syrup. Of course I’d heard of HFCS and knew it wasn’t good for you, I just hadn't done anything about it yet. His challenge was to read the labels as I went grocery shopping. Turns out, HFCS is in EVERYTHING. So step one was to cut down the amount of HFCS I was exposing myself to. I started doing more grocery shopping at places like Trader Joe’s, and occasionally Whole Foods, where I was hard pressed to find food with HFCS in the ingredients. When I go to a brand name grocery store (Safeway, Fred Meyer, etc.), I do my best to stay out of the middle of the store. I have also attempted to not buy things I see advertised on TV. You know those Yoplait yogurt ads that look enticing and make eating yogurt sound good for you as well as delicious? Turns out the second ingredient in most of their products is HFCS.

Step number two was to eat more natural foods. Fresh fruit, vegetables, meats, etc. My fridge is now stocked with some pretty healthy foods. I learned something though in doing some research and label reading. Just like HFCS is in everything man-made, there are chemicals in or on just about everything. And if you want natural or organic foods, it’s going to cost you.

I was recently going over my spending for the past three months. Thanks to my favorite budgeting program, mint.com, I’m able to see exactly how much I’m spending and what I’m spending it on. Aside from learning that I need to cut back on shopping, I was shocked at what I’ve spent on food these past three months. We’re not talking excessive eating out, it was all on groceries. By attempting to eat healthier and ingest fewer chemicals, my grocery bill has just about doubled.

Each year when the weather gets cold, I sit around my apartment wearing layers and blankets. By mid November, I finally have a conversation with myself, reminding me that I have a good job and can afford heat. I had to have a similar conversation with myself regarding my grocery bills. There are other ways I can cut down the bill, less impulse purchases, making a menu, etc., but I feel like it’s worth it to pay a little extra to be putting fewer chemicals in my body.

Trying to eat more natural foods makes it so I have to plan a little more. I have to think about what I’m going to eat the next day and prepare a lunch the night before rather than just grab a frozen dinner. I have to spend some additional time in the grocery store reading the list of ingredients. I have to spend more money to buy fruit not covered in pesticides and meat that isn’t running rampant with growth hormones. It makes me thankful I’m in a position to be able to afford those things. And while I’m not obsessive about it (if someone offered me a regular apple I’m still going to eat it), I feel pretty good knowing that I am making my conscious effort. And it’s lasted three months already. So there gym-going resolutioners.

Journeys and Wanderlust

Somehow I’ve gotten myself a reputation. Thankfully it’s that I travel all the time, not anything worse. I do travel a fair bit, but I don’t feel like it’s excessive. I’m young and single . . . what am I supposed to spend my disposable income on?

Everyone I know, from friends to mere acquaintances, ask me where my next trip is. It’s not as though I go somewhere exotic or exciting all the time, I just make an effort to get out of Portland and go see some place new. Or someplace old, depending on where my friends are who have a free couch for me to sleep on. Even the president and CEO of the company I work for regularly asks about my next trip. Good thing I work in an environment where they don’t look down on you taking time off! I even had a friend assume I wouldn’t be at her wedding because I already had travel plans. That made telling her I couldn’t make it due to a trip much easier.

This traveler reputation has actually worked out well for me. You know that awkward small talk you have with acquaintances or people you haven’t seen in a while? This turns out to be a great starter conversation piece. And it is much less infuriating than being asked if I’m dating someone and if not, have I thought about online dating? Because they know someone who just got married who met their spouse online, etc. etc. etc. But I digress. I’ve actually had conversations that were interesting and animated instead of awkward with friends and strangers about the places I’ve been.

Most of the time, I actually do know what and where my next trip is. I usually have them planned out about a year ahead of time. For example, last month I went to San Diego. In a few weeks I’ll be in Hawaii, then Canada, then Priest Lake, ID, and then likely Sunriver for Labor Day. I’m to the point now where I feel a certain amount of pressure to have a trip planned though, just for conversation sake. And now it’s been a few years since I’ve been overseas, so I’m feeling some pressure to put Europe on the docket. Some people are peer pressured into doing drugs, I’m feel pressure to travel.

While I have a reputation for a number of things, from being a picky eater to a shoe whore, I do enjoy being the person that travels. And leaving every now and again helps to remind me why I love Portland so much. Besides, life tends to be more interesting when you’re counting down the days to your next adventure.

The LBC

Before Dawson had a creek and Ryan moved to the OC there was . . . LBC.

LBC, also known as Little Beaver Creek, was the road I lived on in high school. And unlike the Creek and the OC, it definitely did not warrant a television show. At the time, it was 90% dirt road that made about a five mile loop off of the highway. The nice thing about living out on the LBC was there were a bunch of other kids out there. It was almost as good as living in town, except instead of living blocks apart in town; you lived either 20’s (as in acres) or miles apart.

This past weekend I was up visiting my brother and we were reminiscing about high school. After comparing the number of times we lettered (I was the clear winner), how we extricated ourselves from having to practice with the band but still played at away games and our half-assed attempts at competing in the Science Olympiad, our talk moved on to life on the LBC.

One of the things I’m most remembered for amongst my friends is doing something stupid while driving. Living in a small town, three people had called my parents before I even made it into the parking lot at school. Thus, my punishment was my car being taken away for a couple of weeks. So I did what any smart ass teenager would do in that circumstance. Knowing that my parents fully expected that this meant I would have to suffer the teenage embarrassment of riding the bus to school, I called my friend Seth who lived just down the road and asked if he could give a ride to school for the next couple weeks. Since he was likely to run into the same problem eventually, he readily agreed. The parents were not pleased with this turn of events, but knowing they hadn’t been specific and I had outmaneuvered them, opted to leave it alone. They’d probably be even less pleased if they knew I had a bet going with my friends as to when they’d get tired of picking me up and driving me around and give me my car back.

I know I wasn’t the first kid, or the last, to get their car taken away for being a dumb teenager. In fact, I’m pretty sure it happened to every kid on LBC at some point. And we all offered each other rides when someone lost their car for a period of time. Unfortunately, not only did we all live up the same road, a whole lot of our parents worked together and all of them knew each other (small town thing again). Once the story of how I outsmarted my parental units got out, any time a kid lost their car, an additional punishment was clearly stated, “And you will ride the bus. Riding to school with someone else is not an option.”

So while we never had an opportunity to bond together while standing outside a school board meeting shouting “Donna Martin graduates,” the kids of LBC were there for each other when it mattered. Which was usually when one of us was carless for being an idiot.

Knockers

When you go to the same gym every day at the same time, you start to recognize the people that keep the same schedule as you. These become people you smile at in passing, grumble with in January when the New Years resolution people are taking all the cardio machines and stare awkwardly at trying to place them when you see each other outside of the gym. Some of them are characters and make going to the gym an experience. There is the really tall guy who wears really short running shorts. The guy who always changes the angle of the rowing machines for no particular reason. The girls who run, and I use the term run loosely, with their hair down and perfectly coifed. And my current favorite character . . . Knockers.

One of the great things about Knockers is she stands out in a crowd. So much in fact, that when I mentioned seeing her at the gym to a co-worker who frequents the same gym, she knew exactly who I was talking about. Complete strangers would be able to finish each others sentences when trying to describe this girl. Person 1, “The one who wears,” Person 2, “that hot pink scrap of nothing?” Person 1, “And who never,” Person 2, “actually sweats?”

Knockers got her nickname for obvious reasons. She is the Pamela Anderson of the Pearl 24 Hour Fitness. You know how guys watched Baywatch because it had large breasted women running with no support? Yeah, that’s Knockers. She has giant implants, and wears a tiny, spaghetti strapped hot pink tank top and no bra. When she runs, even I can’t help but stare at her. It’s similar to watching a car accident, where you can see it happening in front of you and know there is nothing you can do to stop it. One, or both, of those fake boobs are bound to come flying out of her top at any minute.

While I watch her in amusement (because if you wear a tank that covers less than a string bikini, and try to run in it, you deserve what’s coming to you) and wonderment that indecent exposure hasn’t yet occurred, my favorite part might be watching the people around her. To be more specific, to watch the guys watch her run . . . without falling off their cardio machines. Yesterday, a guy spent his entire time on the treadmill with his head turned sideways just staring.

Thank you, Knockers, for making it easier to figure out which guys attending the Pearl gym are actually straight. And for giving us gym goers another form of entertainment beside our iPods and TV. Because if the TV in front of us is set to Oprah instead of ESPN, you can be damn sure we’re staring at you while you run.

Bras

You know why women are addicted to shoes? Because they always fit. You can gain or lose a few pounds and your shoes will still fit. You can have a pair of shoes for 10 years if you want because unless your body undergoes some strange metamorphosis, like pregnancy, your feet stay the same size for most of your life. Thus you can amass massive quantities of shoes on the assumption that you're going to be able to use them until there are holes in the soles.

Like pants, shoes are slightly frustrating in that you can wear any number of sizes depending on who makes the shoes. For example, in running shoes I wear an 8 because my feet swell when running and I value my toe nails. In a pair of dress shoes, I tend to wear a 7 or 7 ½ depending on the type of dress shoe, if it is cheaply made or not and whether or not it will stretch. What do shoes have that makes them superior to all other forms of clothing? They come in half sizes, so you’re almost always guaranteed to find some that fit.

You know what else should come in half sizes? Bras. I have a number of friends who would argue that bras are a waste of money anyway, but anyone who actually needs to wear a bra would agree with me. After shedding a few pounds, I find that my current bras are too big. Yay! So I did what any girl who cannot shop in the actual Victoria Secret store because all they carry are push up bras or scraps of nothing, I hopped on the website and ordered some in a smaller size. Upon arrival, I discovered that like pants, I was between sizes. Are you freaking kidding me? All I’m asking for is a bra that fits! I’m left trying to make the decision of a bra that is too big or a bra that creates the boob version of a muffin top. Neither is flattering.

If you think about it, the bra sizing system is completely ridiculous. Nothing else that we wear comes in sizes A through F. Those are letters that go on a report card, not on your bra. Plus, it goes against everything we’re taught growing up. In school, everyone wants an A and if they had given out AA’s in school, I’d have wanted one of those too. No one wants an F. Except in bra world it is completely backwards. Everyone wants to be a C or D, something that did not fly on my report card growing up. It’s completely unnatural.

So while we’re re-doing the bra sizing scale because it is ridiculous, we may as well make it more useful. Let’s add half sizes, because the only people I know who fit into a bra perfectly don’t need to wear them in the first place.