If you asked any of my friends to describe me, picky eater would be on the list of adjectives chosen. It’s not that I make others accommodate me, but often I choose not to eat certain things. With the food world somewhat limited for me, I tend to eat the same things over and over again. Things like soup.
I’ve always loved soup, who knows why, but I eat it a lot. It is a very convenient lunch to bring to school and to work. I only eat half a can a day (one full serving), and I get two days worth of lunches out of one can of soup. Since I am also cheap, I am saving a ton of money on eating a can of soup rather than eating out every day! Like I said, I love soup.
Historically, I ate three types of soup: chicken noodle, minestrone, and split green pea. However I recently ran into a small problem. See, my work recently moved to a different part of town and lets just say the lunch options reflect the surrounding neighborhood. The word to describe the neighborhood and lunch options can be summed up with dismal. Since the move, I have been much better about not going out to lunch with the boys all the time like I did in the previous neighborhood, but that means I have to bring a lunch most days. Which of course leads me back to soup.
When you have next to no options for outside lunches and its winter, soup is a common lunch theme. The problem is that after 5 years of eating the same soups, I am starting to get sick of them. So I decided it was time to branch out of my picky eater mentality and actually try some new soups.
On a recent trip to the grocery store, I spent some time examining the soups in the soup aisle. Who knew there were so many flavors?! Seriously, there was half an aisle of just soup! I grabbed probably six different kinds of soup. Now for most people this wouldn’t be a big deal, but when you’re me, six new flavors is huge.
Today I had the Mexican chicken tortilla. It was delicious! Look at me all growing up, trying new flavors of food. And while the boys still make fun of me for eating half a can of soup for lunch, at least they can stop hassling me for only eating chicken noodle. So many flavors of soup . . . who knew?
November 11, 2008
November 3, 2008
Run-a-holic
It has been 72 days since I had my last fix. No, I’m not talking about drugs or alcohol, I am talking about running. I ran injured for most of last year, trying to train and run in Hood to Coast. Now I am trying to rehab my injuries and I think it might kill me.
I don’t have that traditional runners build and I’m not a speed demon but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been able to run. I go through phases where I’m running more to train for an event and then running less just for exercise, but I’ve always run. This past summer I managed to injure myself to the point that I could hardly walk, much less run.
The body is an amazing thing though. Before my big event this past summer, I was in serious pain and couldn’t run at all the two weeks leading up to it. I was a little worried about competing on an injury plagued body, but figured it was only a short 30 hours of my life. You can do just about anything for only 30 hours. I ran the event fabulously (for me) and met all of my personal goals I had set ahead of time. And I haven’t been able to run since. 72 days later it still hurts to walk.
The main problem is my IT band, this giant tendon thing that attaches at your hip and knee. Apparently it gets pissed off when you try and use it too much. So now I’m done with one month of PT and headed back for more, down an MRI, and my cortisone shot is starting to kick in. Not only is rehabbing my leg driving me crazy because I can’t run, it is damn expensive!
I miss running. When runners pass me on the street I want to tell them to appreciate what they are able to do. I want to tell the runners at the gym, “Hey, I run too! I’m just walking because I don’t have a choice.” I never actually tell them this because it would make me sound crazy to a stranger on the street. Yet I have the impression that anyone who has had to rehab an in jury before would get it.
I didn’t used to categorize myself as a runner because I don’t run marathons and I don’t run 20 races a year. Turns out, that’s not what makes you a runner. It’s that runners high you get so that you can’t wait to go back and do it again. It’s the run that feels so good it doesn’t even matter that you are running through sleet and you can’t feel your fingers. It’s that itchy restlessness you get in your legs when you’re stuck at work and can’t wait to run. And apparently it’s being frustrated to the point of tears because it has been 72 days and it will likely be 72 more. Sigh.
I don’t have that traditional runners build and I’m not a speed demon but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been able to run. I go through phases where I’m running more to train for an event and then running less just for exercise, but I’ve always run. This past summer I managed to injure myself to the point that I could hardly walk, much less run.
The body is an amazing thing though. Before my big event this past summer, I was in serious pain and couldn’t run at all the two weeks leading up to it. I was a little worried about competing on an injury plagued body, but figured it was only a short 30 hours of my life. You can do just about anything for only 30 hours. I ran the event fabulously (for me) and met all of my personal goals I had set ahead of time. And I haven’t been able to run since. 72 days later it still hurts to walk.
The main problem is my IT band, this giant tendon thing that attaches at your hip and knee. Apparently it gets pissed off when you try and use it too much. So now I’m done with one month of PT and headed back for more, down an MRI, and my cortisone shot is starting to kick in. Not only is rehabbing my leg driving me crazy because I can’t run, it is damn expensive!
I miss running. When runners pass me on the street I want to tell them to appreciate what they are able to do. I want to tell the runners at the gym, “Hey, I run too! I’m just walking because I don’t have a choice.” I never actually tell them this because it would make me sound crazy to a stranger on the street. Yet I have the impression that anyone who has had to rehab an in jury before would get it.
I didn’t used to categorize myself as a runner because I don’t run marathons and I don’t run 20 races a year. Turns out, that’s not what makes you a runner. It’s that runners high you get so that you can’t wait to go back and do it again. It’s the run that feels so good it doesn’t even matter that you are running through sleet and you can’t feel your fingers. It’s that itchy restlessness you get in your legs when you’re stuck at work and can’t wait to run. And apparently it’s being frustrated to the point of tears because it has been 72 days and it will likely be 72 more. Sigh.
November 2, 2008
The 'Tweener Stage of Life
Recently I have found myself in what I refer to as a “tweener” spot. Normally this term is used for those not quite human beings we call pre-teens, but in my own life, I find myself between the major life steps. I am done with grad school and have about five years of work experience under my belt. I consider myself pretty successful at life thus far. What I do not currently have, much to the disgrace of some of my friends, is a guy.
I recently went to a bachelorette party where I found myself the only non-engaged non-married girl in the group. Which as it turns out, is my own personal version of hell since apparently all that group of girls could talk about was weddings, marriage, and babies. Oh, and did I mention that the bride-to-be asked all her other friends if they knew of anyone for me to date? Say it with me. H-E-L-L.
What I realized throughout the night is how much I appreciate another group of friends I have. The ones who accept me and love me regardless of if I have a date or not. The ones that don’t hassle me about guys and realize that I have to go about life in my own heidi-like way. I was feeling frustrated that the two girls at this party that I thought of as really good friends, somehow thought that I was lacking or unhappy because I wasn’t seeing anybody.
What I wanted them to understand was that someday, I probably will get married. In the meantime, I don’t find my life lacking for much due to the lack of a guy. It is okay that I don’t have a date because I don’t want to settle for the crazies that they all want to introduce me to. What I don’t enjoy is the feeling like they are almost embarrassed that they still have a single girl friend. It is okay that I am single. I’m happy with life and shouldn’t that be the most important thing?
Seeing my two friends, who I don’t get to visit with often, wasn’t quite the reunion I was hoping for. What it made me realize though, was how great my current primary group of friends are. My guy friends who never question my lack of a date, my couple friends who always invite me to be the third wheel and wouldn’t have it any other way, and the group as a whole that is supportive of each others personal life decisions, whether we agree with them or not. That is friendship.
I recently went to a bachelorette party where I found myself the only non-engaged non-married girl in the group. Which as it turns out, is my own personal version of hell since apparently all that group of girls could talk about was weddings, marriage, and babies. Oh, and did I mention that the bride-to-be asked all her other friends if they knew of anyone for me to date? Say it with me. H-E-L-L.
What I realized throughout the night is how much I appreciate another group of friends I have. The ones who accept me and love me regardless of if I have a date or not. The ones that don’t hassle me about guys and realize that I have to go about life in my own heidi-like way. I was feeling frustrated that the two girls at this party that I thought of as really good friends, somehow thought that I was lacking or unhappy because I wasn’t seeing anybody.
What I wanted them to understand was that someday, I probably will get married. In the meantime, I don’t find my life lacking for much due to the lack of a guy. It is okay that I don’t have a date because I don’t want to settle for the crazies that they all want to introduce me to. What I don’t enjoy is the feeling like they are almost embarrassed that they still have a single girl friend. It is okay that I am single. I’m happy with life and shouldn’t that be the most important thing?
Seeing my two friends, who I don’t get to visit with often, wasn’t quite the reunion I was hoping for. What it made me realize though, was how great my current primary group of friends are. My guy friends who never question my lack of a date, my couple friends who always invite me to be the third wheel and wouldn’t have it any other way, and the group as a whole that is supportive of each others personal life decisions, whether we agree with them or not. That is friendship.
September 3, 2008
Six Guys, A Girl, and Buffalo Wild Wings
You know when you’re at a restaurant or bar and you see a group of guys walk in with one girl in their midst? I’m that girl. Now some girls would think that I am lucky to be in that position. The other girls out there that hang out with groups of guys know the truth. It is a lot of fun, but you have to put up with a whole lot of crap. Not only do I get picked on, I am also an up close observer to phrases, terminology, and actions that I’m not sure girls should know about. I’ve learned a lot more about guys that I think I ever wanted to know.
I have always enjoyed hanging out with guys more than girls, mostly because they are less emotional and slightly lower maintenance. Plus you can do things like eat wings, watch football, and give each other crap with no hard feelings. That being said, I adore my girl friends as well. But this blog is about the boys.
Here’s the thing, for as much as the guys hassle me and I think sometimes forget that I am actually a girl, they also take care of me. In their own, sometimes odd ways. Since I show up stag to a lot of events, I never have to worry about having a good place to sit. Whoever gets there first grabs my nametag as well as theirs and makes sure I’m at the cool table. They'll go to a ball field and hit grounders at me for an hour so I don't make a fool of myself playing 3rd base for the first time in well . . . lets just say it wasn't last year. They split lunches with me (okay, they eat 1 ½ lunches and I eat ½), I get invited to things even when significant others are not, they make sure I don't get left behind at the tailgate when it's time to go into the game, and they help me move or carry really heavy things.
So all this time I’ve been smug in the fact that I get to hang out with groups of guys and have a good time doing it. Until I had a conversation with my cousin, Greg. It happened to come out that I had a habit of hanging out with mostly guys. At which point Greg informs me that this is obviously my problem on the dating scene. Apparently when guys see a girl in a group of guys, they assume that she is dating one of them. I can assure you that this is not the case. I have no desire to date any of my guy friends (TMI about these guys doesn’t even begin to cover it). This was a huge revelation to me. Why had no one ever told me this before?
Obviously the next step was to do some additional research. Sure enough, every guy I polled (including the guys I hang out with and my own brother) said the same thing. “Well, yeah, why else would a girl be hanging out in a group of guys unless she was dating one of them?” Huh.
Guys, these are the kinds of things you have to tell the single girls that hang out with you. A little less bodily function discussion and a whole lot more imparting of wisdom on the way a guys brain actually works. Seriously.
I have always enjoyed hanging out with guys more than girls, mostly because they are less emotional and slightly lower maintenance. Plus you can do things like eat wings, watch football, and give each other crap with no hard feelings. That being said, I adore my girl friends as well. But this blog is about the boys.
Here’s the thing, for as much as the guys hassle me and I think sometimes forget that I am actually a girl, they also take care of me. In their own, sometimes odd ways. Since I show up stag to a lot of events, I never have to worry about having a good place to sit. Whoever gets there first grabs my nametag as well as theirs and makes sure I’m at the cool table. They'll go to a ball field and hit grounders at me for an hour so I don't make a fool of myself playing 3rd base for the first time in well . . . lets just say it wasn't last year. They split lunches with me (okay, they eat 1 ½ lunches and I eat ½), I get invited to things even when significant others are not, they make sure I don't get left behind at the tailgate when it's time to go into the game, and they help me move or carry really heavy things.
So all this time I’ve been smug in the fact that I get to hang out with groups of guys and have a good time doing it. Until I had a conversation with my cousin, Greg. It happened to come out that I had a habit of hanging out with mostly guys. At which point Greg informs me that this is obviously my problem on the dating scene. Apparently when guys see a girl in a group of guys, they assume that she is dating one of them. I can assure you that this is not the case. I have no desire to date any of my guy friends (TMI about these guys doesn’t even begin to cover it). This was a huge revelation to me. Why had no one ever told me this before?
Obviously the next step was to do some additional research. Sure enough, every guy I polled (including the guys I hang out with and my own brother) said the same thing. “Well, yeah, why else would a girl be hanging out in a group of guys unless she was dating one of them?” Huh.
Guys, these are the kinds of things you have to tell the single girls that hang out with you. A little less bodily function discussion and a whole lot more imparting of wisdom on the way a guys brain actually works. Seriously.
August 7, 2008
Marriage (apparently) = Stability
One of the best things about turning 25 was the significant decrease in the cost of my car insurance. From one tick of the clock to the next, I was suddenly considered a “stable driver.” That made sense to me, since by then I had been driving for 10 years in various conditions and pretty much knew what I was doing (i.e. don’t swerve to miss a dear, turn into the skid, etc.). The next time in my life I was expecting any kind of discount was when I was eligible to join the AARP. Apparently however, car insurance can go down once again WHEN YOU GET MARRIED.
I’m all for the cost of car insurance being higher when you are young – you are just learning how to operate a car, you don’t have a lot of experience behind the wheel, and let’s face it, you’re pretty much an idiot through college. Everyone has done stupid stuff in a car when they were younger, no matter how responsible a person and driver they were. When I was a freshman in high school, we once squeezed 8 girls in a VW bug for a cross town trip. And the bug was missing half the floor!
So the age thing I get, because even I was a stupid driver when I was younger, and I’m generally a pretty responsible person. I am not sure how me being married or not is a reflection on my stability as a person. According to Insurance.com, “Married people are considered safer and more stable because of their new commitment and responsibilities, and this can translate into discounts.”
Here’s the thing, I have the exact same responsibilities as married people do. I have to support myself, pay bills and taxes, and follow the laws, just like they do. And I have to do it on one income. How do two people signing a $50 piece of paper make them more responsible or committed than me, the single person? Or what about the people who choose to live together and not get married? Or what about couples that are not legally allowed to be married?
Stability is something that should be measured by driving records, credit reports, paying taxes, etc. There is no magic stability fairy who shows up on your wedding day to go *poof* now you are stable! If you were a terrible driver before getting married, chances are you will remain a terrible driver afterwards unless you take steps to improve that (and signing a marriage license is not how you become a better driver).
Age is something that is equal to us all. Every year we all get older and at some point, we all turn 25 earning our much desired and (hopefully) warranted decrease in insurance rates. Marriage doesn’t make a person stable and it isn’t equal to everyone. I don’t understand how this isn’t discrimination to a growing population of people who choose not to get married or those who are not legally allowed?
Admittedly, this is one large rant about how I am pissed off that although I am one of the most responsible and stable people I know, I am potentially being discriminated against because I choose not to be married. That being said, if I ever decide to get married, I’m obviously going to try and gets my rates reduced since I will be “safer and more stable” due to my “new commitment and responsibilities”. I’ve been cheap far longer than I’ve been mad about car insurance.
I’m all for the cost of car insurance being higher when you are young – you are just learning how to operate a car, you don’t have a lot of experience behind the wheel, and let’s face it, you’re pretty much an idiot through college. Everyone has done stupid stuff in a car when they were younger, no matter how responsible a person and driver they were. When I was a freshman in high school, we once squeezed 8 girls in a VW bug for a cross town trip. And the bug was missing half the floor!
So the age thing I get, because even I was a stupid driver when I was younger, and I’m generally a pretty responsible person. I am not sure how me being married or not is a reflection on my stability as a person. According to Insurance.com, “Married people are considered safer and more stable because of their new commitment and responsibilities, and this can translate into discounts.”
Here’s the thing, I have the exact same responsibilities as married people do. I have to support myself, pay bills and taxes, and follow the laws, just like they do. And I have to do it on one income. How do two people signing a $50 piece of paper make them more responsible or committed than me, the single person? Or what about the people who choose to live together and not get married? Or what about couples that are not legally allowed to be married?
Stability is something that should be measured by driving records, credit reports, paying taxes, etc. There is no magic stability fairy who shows up on your wedding day to go *poof* now you are stable! If you were a terrible driver before getting married, chances are you will remain a terrible driver afterwards unless you take steps to improve that (and signing a marriage license is not how you become a better driver).
Age is something that is equal to us all. Every year we all get older and at some point, we all turn 25 earning our much desired and (hopefully) warranted decrease in insurance rates. Marriage doesn’t make a person stable and it isn’t equal to everyone. I don’t understand how this isn’t discrimination to a growing population of people who choose not to get married or those who are not legally allowed?
Admittedly, this is one large rant about how I am pissed off that although I am one of the most responsible and stable people I know, I am potentially being discriminated against because I choose not to be married. That being said, if I ever decide to get married, I’m obviously going to try and gets my rates reduced since I will be “safer and more stable” due to my “new commitment and responsibilities”. I’ve been cheap far longer than I’ve been mad about car insurance.
The Breakup Exchange
I have this pair of diamond earrings that I received as a gift from an ex-boyfriend. I like them because they are different than most studs I see on other ears so I tend to wear them frequently. The problem is that the backs do not screw on; they are just regular earring backs. And as I am incredibly lazy with my jewelry, I often leave them in for long periods at a time. Which has led me to lose one of them not once, but twice now (and randomly enough always on trips Seattle).
A reasonable person would ask, “Gee, aren’t they insured?” And they are, however the problem lies in the fact that the ex has the insurance information. And the ex and I no longer keep in contact. Which led me to ask the question – how many times does an ex end up with something we want back?
I would love to have the insurance information for my earrings, which I have luckily found both times I lost one, because one of these days, they aren’t coming back. On the other hand, I kept his favorite hoodie. It is inevitable that your previous significant other ends up with something you want whether it be music, movies, clothes or something else and the world has yet to figure out an appropriate way to get those things back. Hell, I have a hard time getting things back from people I still talk to!
Which leads me to the following conclusion: there should be a “Goodwill” of sorts for breakups. Or at least some sort of exchange point. In the process of returning personal items, something always gets left behind. Shampoo is easy enough to replace, but what about that cool picture frame or your favorite sleeping shirt you left behind? You don’t want to call the ex up and ask for those things usually, which is why there should be a common drop off point for those types of things. You can register with an exchange in all the cities that you have exes and then the “Breakup Exchange” will notify the ex that their missing personal items are available for pick-up, similar to how the library lets you know when a book you have on hold is available. This way, while feelings may be hurt, no one actually has to deal with them face to face and hey, you get your stuff back!
And it sure would have made me feel better to send the old favorite hoodie I no longer wanted from an ex to the “Relationship Exchange - Portland” than dropping it off at the actual Goodwill. (Sorry ex-boyfriend, we don’t talk and I was low on closet space.) Although you never want to be intentionally cruel to someone, nothing says “I’m over you” like taking their stuff to Goodwill. Because deep down, we really just want our stuff back nicely.
A reasonable person would ask, “Gee, aren’t they insured?” And they are, however the problem lies in the fact that the ex has the insurance information. And the ex and I no longer keep in contact. Which led me to ask the question – how many times does an ex end up with something we want back?
I would love to have the insurance information for my earrings, which I have luckily found both times I lost one, because one of these days, they aren’t coming back. On the other hand, I kept his favorite hoodie. It is inevitable that your previous significant other ends up with something you want whether it be music, movies, clothes or something else and the world has yet to figure out an appropriate way to get those things back. Hell, I have a hard time getting things back from people I still talk to!
Which leads me to the following conclusion: there should be a “Goodwill” of sorts for breakups. Or at least some sort of exchange point. In the process of returning personal items, something always gets left behind. Shampoo is easy enough to replace, but what about that cool picture frame or your favorite sleeping shirt you left behind? You don’t want to call the ex up and ask for those things usually, which is why there should be a common drop off point for those types of things. You can register with an exchange in all the cities that you have exes and then the “Breakup Exchange” will notify the ex that their missing personal items are available for pick-up, similar to how the library lets you know when a book you have on hold is available. This way, while feelings may be hurt, no one actually has to deal with them face to face and hey, you get your stuff back!
And it sure would have made me feel better to send the old favorite hoodie I no longer wanted from an ex to the “Relationship Exchange - Portland” than dropping it off at the actual Goodwill. (Sorry ex-boyfriend, we don’t talk and I was low on closet space.) Although you never want to be intentionally cruel to someone, nothing says “I’m over you” like taking their stuff to Goodwill. Because deep down, we really just want our stuff back nicely.
March 29, 2008
Parking Karma
I live in a neighborhood that is primarily street parking. It is a very popular neighborhood for tourists to visit, which makes parking increasingly difficult. When people hear where I live the first thing out of their mouth is “I bet it’s really difficult to find parking.” At 2pm on a sunny Saturday afternoon, yes, but for the most part I have very good parking karma.
And I finally figured out why I must have good parking karma. It’s because I don’t ever have dates. I’m pretty sure the karma gods have decided that for me, it is one or the other. A few weeks ago, I went through a very rough parking patch. I would drive around looking for a spot and was never able to find one. I started thinking that maybe this meant a date was coming my way. Alas, this was not to be. Instead of getting a date, I was once again able to find parking with relative ease.
Lucky for me, I’m pretty sure that parking is the right thing to have right now. Not being able to find a parking spot pisses me off a whole lot more than I imagine having a date would make me happy. So karma gods, bring on the open parking spaces.
And I finally figured out why I must have good parking karma. It’s because I don’t ever have dates. I’m pretty sure the karma gods have decided that for me, it is one or the other. A few weeks ago, I went through a very rough parking patch. I would drive around looking for a spot and was never able to find one. I started thinking that maybe this meant a date was coming my way. Alas, this was not to be. Instead of getting a date, I was once again able to find parking with relative ease.
Lucky for me, I’m pretty sure that parking is the right thing to have right now. Not being able to find a parking spot pisses me off a whole lot more than I imagine having a date would make me happy. So karma gods, bring on the open parking spaces.
Can Guys and Girls Every Really be Just Friends?
In the movie “When Harry Met Sally,” Billy Crystal’s character does a whole spiel on how men and women can’t be just friends. His reasoning is because no matter what, the guy always wants to sleep with the woman. Not being a guy, I have no idea if this is true or not, but it made me start to think about the so called “friendships” I have with guys.
I hang out with a lot of guys, 99% of which I wouldn’t even think about dating. Some are married some are in serious relationships and a few who are single. Of those who are unattached, it has never crossed my mind to date or to sleep with them. Is it completely naive to think that I can always remain just friends with these guys?
Sometimes it is nice to not be the only single person in the group. While I enjoy being the spare, sometimes it gets old and it’s nice to have someone to partner up with for a few hours strictly on a friend level. It’s nice to have someone to partner up with on game night. It’s also handy to have someone around you’re comfortable with to the point that you can share food and ask each other for favors. No, not those kinds of favors. I’m talking about having someone you can call when you need help carrying something, or you need someone to go to a movie with, or when they can call you to borrow something.
My whole life I’ve hung out with guys and the ones who were really good friends I’ve only ever thought of as friends. But old Billy Crystal got me thinking. Do guys ever really think of girls as just their friends? Or is sex always involved? I had a friend who was hanging out with a guy she thought of strictly as a friend, only to have him unexpectedly lean over and start kissing her. What do you do in a situation like that? Can you ever go back to just being friends? Or were you ever really just friends in the first place?
After polling some friends, I’ve gotten various responses. My dear brother says of course you can just be friends with girls. And he’s the type of guy that could actually think that. What I wonder, with him being quite the charmer, is if the girls he is just “friends” with feel the same? I have a girl friend that told me I was off my rocker for thinking that guys and girls can just be friends. Once one person has feelings, I agree that friendship in the normal sense is not an option. If it was a childhood crush, you stand a better chance of overcoming that. Girls tend to want to have romantic feelings towards a guy, while to Billy Crystal’s point, guys are much less particular about that part.
I’d like to think that guys and girls really can be just friends. Is this just wishful thinking on my part? Can guys and girls really ever just be friends? Not being a guy or having a chance in hell in understanding how they think, don’t have a clue. But as someone who enjoys hanging out with guys simply as friends, I certainly hope so.
I hang out with a lot of guys, 99% of which I wouldn’t even think about dating. Some are married some are in serious relationships and a few who are single. Of those who are unattached, it has never crossed my mind to date or to sleep with them. Is it completely naive to think that I can always remain just friends with these guys?
Sometimes it is nice to not be the only single person in the group. While I enjoy being the spare, sometimes it gets old and it’s nice to have someone to partner up with for a few hours strictly on a friend level. It’s nice to have someone to partner up with on game night. It’s also handy to have someone around you’re comfortable with to the point that you can share food and ask each other for favors. No, not those kinds of favors. I’m talking about having someone you can call when you need help carrying something, or you need someone to go to a movie with, or when they can call you to borrow something.
My whole life I’ve hung out with guys and the ones who were really good friends I’ve only ever thought of as friends. But old Billy Crystal got me thinking. Do guys ever really think of girls as just their friends? Or is sex always involved? I had a friend who was hanging out with a guy she thought of strictly as a friend, only to have him unexpectedly lean over and start kissing her. What do you do in a situation like that? Can you ever go back to just being friends? Or were you ever really just friends in the first place?
After polling some friends, I’ve gotten various responses. My dear brother says of course you can just be friends with girls. And he’s the type of guy that could actually think that. What I wonder, with him being quite the charmer, is if the girls he is just “friends” with feel the same? I have a girl friend that told me I was off my rocker for thinking that guys and girls can just be friends. Once one person has feelings, I agree that friendship in the normal sense is not an option. If it was a childhood crush, you stand a better chance of overcoming that. Girls tend to want to have romantic feelings towards a guy, while to Billy Crystal’s point, guys are much less particular about that part.
I’d like to think that guys and girls really can be just friends. Is this just wishful thinking on my part? Can guys and girls really ever just be friends? Not being a guy or having a chance in hell in understanding how they think, don’t have a clue. But as someone who enjoys hanging out with guys simply as friends, I certainly hope so.
March 20, 2008
Girls and electronics
What is it about electronics that can fuddle even the smartest girl? I consider myself to be pretty knowledgeable and able to handle almost anything myself. I could change a tire if I had to and I own my own electric drill. I can even set the time on my TV and VCR.
But what I can't do is make my TV do what I want. I want my TV hooked up to my stereo so I can play sound through big speakers. I want to be able to play what is on my computer through my TV. After a trip to Radio Shack, one of my guy friends found me the cable that I needed. No, I have no idea what it is called. It is hooked up to my TV, however I can't get what is on my computer to actually go onto the TV. *sigh*
What I really want is to get HDTV without paying for digital cable, so I bought an HDTV receiver. I even got a splitter so I can hook it up with my current cable. Of course, I had to have a guy friend help me find the splitter as well as the connector that is "male" so I could connect two "female" parts. I don't know what they are actually called so I am sticking with parts. Much to my dismay, I still can't get anything to work and have been reduced to doing what has worked for girls for eternity . . .
I'm swapping baked goods for a guy friend to come make my TV do what I want. I may not know how to work my TV, but I know my strengths and am nothing if not resourceful. :)
But what I can't do is make my TV do what I want. I want my TV hooked up to my stereo so I can play sound through big speakers. I want to be able to play what is on my computer through my TV. After a trip to Radio Shack, one of my guy friends found me the cable that I needed. No, I have no idea what it is called. It is hooked up to my TV, however I can't get what is on my computer to actually go onto the TV. *sigh*
What I really want is to get HDTV without paying for digital cable, so I bought an HDTV receiver. I even got a splitter so I can hook it up with my current cable. Of course, I had to have a guy friend help me find the splitter as well as the connector that is "male" so I could connect two "female" parts. I don't know what they are actually called so I am sticking with parts. Much to my dismay, I still can't get anything to work and have been reduced to doing what has worked for girls for eternity . . .
I'm swapping baked goods for a guy friend to come make my TV do what I want. I may not know how to work my TV, but I know my strengths and am nothing if not resourceful. :)
Deal Breakers
Most people have an idea of qualities they would like to find in a potential spouse. Everyone I know have a list of things they absolutely do not want in a spouse. These are frequently known as deal breakers. If a deal breaker is really a deal breaker, why do we let people second guess us about them? Should we be concerned when people judge us for our deal breakers? Even if they are specific issues that are important to you and not to the rest of the people we know, why are we so concerned with what they think about them?
And if a potential date possess at least one deal breaker, aren’t they likely to possess more? My biggest deal breaker is no smoking. I have no desire to be around much less date a smoker. Recently a friend of mine wanted to hook me up with a guy she knew. When pressed, she admitted that this guy smoked. While I was ready to throw in the towel right then, friends convinced me to pass along my number regardless. The boys aren’t exactly beating down my door so at the very least this could be good practice in small talk. So against my gut instinct and my major deal breaker, I passed along my number.
Talking to the guy on the phone ended up going fine. Nice enough guy, but as I suspected, smoking wasn’t the only deal breaker this guy had. Turns out, the guy has two criminal convictions in the form of DUI’s. Most people would tell you that I am a total hard ass and want life to be black and white and while I’m learning that there are shades of gray in the world, drinking and driving is not one of them. And getting caught not once but twice is inexcusable.
Prior to this experience I didn’t realize that I had to put multiple DUI’s and criminal convictions on the list. But it is on there now, along with no smoking, a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, and no crazy religions. My friends may judge me or my personal deal breakers but at the end of the day I’m the one that has to live with my choices. At the end of the day I know they love me and want to see me happy, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree to date people I know are wrong. So hassle me all you like dear friends for being a real life version of Goldilocks who wants everything to be just right, just know that I am sticking to my deal breakers from here on out.
And if a potential date possess at least one deal breaker, aren’t they likely to possess more? My biggest deal breaker is no smoking. I have no desire to be around much less date a smoker. Recently a friend of mine wanted to hook me up with a guy she knew. When pressed, she admitted that this guy smoked. While I was ready to throw in the towel right then, friends convinced me to pass along my number regardless. The boys aren’t exactly beating down my door so at the very least this could be good practice in small talk. So against my gut instinct and my major deal breaker, I passed along my number.
Talking to the guy on the phone ended up going fine. Nice enough guy, but as I suspected, smoking wasn’t the only deal breaker this guy had. Turns out, the guy has two criminal convictions in the form of DUI’s. Most people would tell you that I am a total hard ass and want life to be black and white and while I’m learning that there are shades of gray in the world, drinking and driving is not one of them. And getting caught not once but twice is inexcusable.
Prior to this experience I didn’t realize that I had to put multiple DUI’s and criminal convictions on the list. But it is on there now, along with no smoking, a minimum of a bachelor’s degree, and no crazy religions. My friends may judge me or my personal deal breakers but at the end of the day I’m the one that has to live with my choices. At the end of the day I know they love me and want to see me happy, but that doesn’t mean I have to agree to date people I know are wrong. So hassle me all you like dear friends for being a real life version of Goldilocks who wants everything to be just right, just know that I am sticking to my deal breakers from here on out.
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